03.09.2026 Isabel Hempel 3157

#53: When You Just Can't Bring Yourself to Clean Up: An Organization Coach on the Reasons Why

Many people simply can’t bring themselves to clean up. The reason is usually not laziness, but chronic exhaustion, ADHD, or ingrained habits. In Episode 53, organization coach Sarah Kiefer explains why “Messi” is often misunderstood and which small, practical methods (mini-steps, time boxes, body doubling) lead to real success in everyday life.

“I just can’t seem to clean up.” Organizing coach Sarah Kiefer from Ordnungswelt hears this phrase almost every day. People who can’t clean up aren’t necessarily lazy, and conversely, many of the reasons for “not being able to clean up” are hidden. Exhaustion after a long day at work, ADHD symptoms, long COVID, or depression can make it difficult to make decisions, plan, and stick to routines.

Find out in this podcast: 

Excerpt from the podcast interview with organization coach Sarah Kiefer: 

"Tips or individual auctions rarely provide a lasting solution" 

Oliver Schmidt: Sarah, what is meant by “chronic disorganization”—and how does that differ from the usual mess that everyone experiences from time to time?

Sarah Kiefer:Chronic disorganization means that people don’t know where to start over long periods of time. It’s not just occasional chaos after a stressful day, but a persistent pattern: nothing in the home has a designated place, those affected feel overwhelmed, and they can’t figure out how to tackle a project.

Often, these issues stem from neurodivergent conditions (e.g., ADHD), health limitations such as long COVID, or mental health conditions such as depression. That’s why simple tips or one-time cleanup efforts rarely provide a lasting solution. The underlying causes run deeper and often require complementary strategies.

How does the so-called “Messi Syndrome” differ from this? Or is that just an extreme example of disorganization?

Sarah Kiefer:What is often referred to in German as “Messi syndrome” corresponds more closely to the term “hoarding disorder” in English. It is a form of chronic disorganization in which the problem lies primarily in an inability to let go: People develop very close, emotional attachments to objects, are unable to part with them, and hoard excessively.

In these cases, simply tidying up often doesn’t help and can even be harmful if the person affected isn’t receiving psychotherapeutic support. It’s also important to note that similar living conditions can arise for entirely different reasons—such as depression or exhaustion—and each requires a different approach.

The media tends to take a blanket approach to the issue and label everything as “Messi,” even though the causes vary widely.

What typical behavioral patterns do you see in people with ADHD or similar challenges? Why does this so often lead to persistent disorganization?

Sarah Kiefer:Among people with ADHD and related challenges, certain patterns are particularly common: problems with prioritization and planning, “all-or-nothing thinking,” and a lack of routines. Many think, “If I can’t do it right, I’d rather not even start.”

Added to this is the difficulty of realistically estimating a project’s complexity, effort, and duration; making decisions; and sticking with it when the first obstacle arises. Perfectionism sometimes plays a role: if the closet can’t be organized perfectly, the laundry just sits there.

A lack of energy and exhaustion make this worse. Anyone who has barely any cognitive resources left at the end of the day can't handle the extra decisions.

You say, “Order means knowing where things are.” Can you elaborate on that? How should we think about order so that it really helps us in our daily lives?

Sarah Kiefer:Yes, for me, organization is primarily about knowing where things are so I can find them quickly. Aesthetics come second. In practical terms, this means: designated spots for everyday items ( keys, wallets, important papers), making routines clear (e.g., where does the mail go, what’s the process for a bill from the mailbox to payment), and incorporating small, practical solutions (a shelf for sweatpants next to the door, a labeled basket).

It’s important to pay attention to your own habits: When and how do you use certain things? This will help you figure out where it makes sense to store them. The goal is to simplify your daily life, not to create the perfect Instagram photo.

Conflicts often arise in relationships because of differing needs for order. How can this be resolved in practice?

Sarah Kiefer:It starts with communication and clarifying roles: openly discussing who takes on which role in the household and how both partners feel about it. It often helps to map out processes together and label different areas—this takes some of the burden off the person who has been keeping everything in their head up until now.

Leading by example works better than lecturing: if you start by implementing small rules for yourself, you’re more likely to get your partner on board. Specific rules (e.g., who does what in the kitchen) and lighthearted agreements (in our household, the second person isn’t allowed in the kitchen if the first one is already cooking) can help defuse conflicts.

"We work in small, measurable steps"

Among other things, you offer “body doubling”—what exactly is that, and how does it help people clean up?

Sarah Kiefer:Body-doubling means that people work on their own tasks at the same time—either in person or digitally via video. Everyone starts at the same time, works quietly, and then briefly shares their experiences.

This fosters a sense of commitment and provides a social framework: the presence of others motivates us and reduces procrastination. In our “Ordnungswelt” Club, we combine this with brief prompts (e.g., a method or music for tidying up), followed by a quiet implementation phase of 45–60 minutes and a brief wrap-up feedback session. This helps us set realistic goals and actually stick to them.

For many people, paperwork and managing their finances are particularly stressful issues. How do you handle them?

Sarah Kiefer:Paperwork is often emotionally taxing because it’s associated with tasks, worries, and feelings of shame (e.g., unpaid bills, missing forms). We start by clarifying the process: How does mail come in, and how is it reviewed, paid, and filed?

Then we work in small, measurable steps: for example, working through a specific number of centimeters of the stack per session. This gives those affected a sense of accomplishment. When it comes to actual financial planning, we bring in specialized colleagues or recommend financial coaching, because expert knowledge is often required.

In what situations do you refer patients to psychotherapists or medical specialists?

Sarah Kiefer: We follow a code of conduct and recognize when coaching is no longer sufficient. Examples include pronounced compulsive behaviors (e.g., constantly washing one’s hands after touching something), deep grief, severe anxiety disorders, or other mental health conditions that significantly slow down or prevent the tidying process.

In such cases, we refer clients to therapists or psychosocial services. At the same time, however, organizing coaching can spark the desire to “address this issue through therapy as well.” In that case, we help them find appropriate support.

Can you give a specific example of a situation where organizing has significantly changed everyday life?

Sarah Kiefer:Yes. I remember a client whose living room looked “just like it did 20 years ago” and who was embarrassed by it. Over the course of several sessions, we created clearly defined zones, donated a lot of items, and implemented practical solutions (e.g., new hooks, organized storage).

After nine hours, many things had been sorted out to the point where she could get involved in the community again and spend more time with her son. For her, it wasn’t just a clean space—it was a huge relief in her daily life and a way to let go of the weight she’d been carrying.

"Gather methods and celebrate progress"

What's your first, practical piece of advice for listeners who can relate to this?

Sarah Kiefer:Keep it simple: Set aside 30–60 minutes and choose a specific, measurable goal (e.g., reducing the height of a pile by five centimeters, or clearing out your inbox). Gather methods that have worked for you in the past and compile them into your own personal toolbox.

Celebrate small steps of progress—accept that your performance will fluctuate and that it’s normal not to function the same way every day. If you’d like some support, you can check out a structured program like our club or seek professional guidance.

Protect your home. Design it in a way that makes you feel good: cozy, colorful, or minimalist—whatever suits you best. You set the rules for your home.

Cheerful to stormy - the everyday podcast with Olli Schmidt

Welcome to “Sunny to Stormy”—the everyday podcast. Whether you’re on cloud nine or feeling utterly down, life has its ups and downs. That’s exactly what we’re all about: the everyday crises like arguments with your partner, parenting issues, work-related stress, insecurities, and anxiety. We talk to experts and give you practical tips so you can better handle crises and challenges.

You can listen to our podcast on all known podcast platforms (Spotify, Apple Music, Audible etc.)! Questions, suggestions, criticism, wishes? Feel free to write to us at: podcast@familienservice.de