Do you often hear this sentence? Why boredom is good for your children.
How often have you heard this sentence from your children in the last week? One, two or ten times? Books, sport, tablets and TV: some parents do a lot to ensure that their children are well entertained and encouraged. But is this really the right thing to do? What would happen if children were left alone with themselves and their boredom from time to time? How would this affect their development?
But what do we actually mean by boredom? Educational consultant Dr. Jan-Uwe Rogge puts it succinctly: "Boredom means lying on the bed, staring at the ceiling, sitting in an armchair lost in thought, daydreaming, having time for your own ideas, exploring them in depth, times when nothing, absolutely nothing is planned or scheduled.
I remember my childhood very well and the boredom that came with it. I felt like I spent half my childhood staring at the flowers on the wallpaper in my nursery - sometimes alone, sometimes with my friends. And the other half? I did handicrafts, played bookshop at my parents' bookshelf, went out into nature, read a lot � Pippi Longstocking, my heroine from my childhood book days is still my favorite literary character. And I did all this without my parents' guidance. In summer, the most I ever saw her was at the dinner table. Today, I sometimes have the feeling that life was nicer and freer for us - the children back then.
The trend towards supporting children with music and exercise programs or language lessons has increased significantly in recent years. Young children should not have to occupy themselves alone. Young children play intensively, attend toddler groups, baby swimming lessons and go to the playground every day. The pattern continues with childcare center and school children: After school, there should be at least one more sport �ootball on Mondays, karate on Wednesdays and swimming on Saturdays, musical talent should also be encouraged and the muse doesn't just cater to the talented, but also to the more industrious. From time to time, the TV or tablet has to be used.
A guilty conscience also plays no small role when work - and adult life in general - are added to the mix. And even if the children themselves often want it that way, isn't it also a critical sign of the times that children should be kept busy? What are we afraid of? That our children won't be able to cope with the competition? That they will be bored to death or just do stupid things? Have we become nothing just because we stared at the ceiling for days on end?
According to a 2015 study conducted by Bepanthen Kinderf�rderung in collaboration with the University of Bielefeld, one in six children and one in five adolescents in Germany exhibit clear symptoms of stress. The causes lie in the (too) high expectations of parents and the associated lack of freedom for self-determination. Is it therefore not better to see boredom as an opportunity for creative play, the development of one's own thinking and will?
Nothing is more important than allowing a free spirit to grow in order to shape it. This certainly does not happen if the child is not given any chance at all to let it grow.
My interests also developed over the years: photography, sewing, drawing and writing. I was also in a sports club ... none of which my parents got me into. I was lucky enough to be able to decide freely and try things out. Was that favored by the boredom my parents allowed? I think: yes!
�Children are at their happiest when playing independently,� writes US psychologist Dr. Laura Markham on her website ahaparenting.com. �Through play, children learn to process emotions and experiences�. Children need their own experiences, whether it's building with blocks to develop motor and cognitive skills, playing with other children to develop interaction and social skills or creativity through activities such as crafting or painting� Children need to experience what it means to create something themselves, continues Markham.
Boredom encourages this creativity and self-determined play. It can often be observed that children come up with great ideas after a period of boredom. Many renowned brain researchers, educationalists and educators have written on the subject of children's boredom. One central demand they always make is: Allow boredom!
The well-known educationalist Peter Struck is quoted in an article published in 2006: �Children must learn to deal with idle time and to occupy themselves on their own. If parents always step in, this will never happen�.
Family therapist Jesper Juul also states in an interview that children often get bored when there is a lack of external stimulation from computer games, DVDs or television. Many parents formally feel compelled to continue these inspiring activities at home. The pressure is actually created by the children, as they have simply been made "addicted to stimulation". However, it is essential to create islands for the children where they can simply be bored children - without any outside stimulation.
Author and educational consultant Jan-Uwe Rogge says: �If a child feels safe in relationships, boredom is extremely important for personality development. It is a time that belongs only to the child.� And the psychologist and mother, Dr. Vanessa Lapointe, also writes on her blog in the Huffington Post: �Children need to sink into their own boredom so that the world around them becomes so quiet that they can listen to themselves��.
So there is nothing reprehensible about allowing boredom or even teaching it to your children. No, it's actually beneficial. Remember this the next time your child doesn't know what to do with their time and sit back and relax.
Further sources:
http://www.sueddeutsche.de/leben/die-muehen-der-erziehung-laaaaangweilig-1.2660964
http://www.stern.de/familie/kinder/daddylicious/kinder--langeweile-ist-wichtig-fuer-die-kindliche-entwicklung-7002370.html
http://www.huffingtonpost.de/2016/07/05/kinder-hauufig-langweilen_n_10816324.html
http://www.freundin.de/darum-sollten-sich-kinder-langweilen
https://www.weforum.org/agenda/2016/09/being-bored-is-good-for-children-and-adults-this-is-why?utm_content=bufferb8f6b&utm_medium=social&utm_source=twitter.com&utm_campaign=buffer