Loneliness: "Most people find it difficult to ask for help"
If you commute a lot or work from home, you can get lonely in the long run. So can employees with short-term contracts. An interview with psychiatrist and psychotherapist Dr. Udo Wortelboer.
Dr. Wortelboer, what do you do when you feel lonely?
Udo Wortelboer: Call a good friend and go out and meet people. I work from home a lot. Sometimes the phone stays silent all day. If I don't feel like calling anyone, I'm alone all day. So I'm happy when I can talk to you on the phone like I did today and go to Stuttgart tomorrow for a networking breakfast.
According to a recent AOK study, people who work from home are often happier with their job, but also suffer more from mental stress. Would you say that loneliness is the main problem?
Loneliness can be a problem, especially for those who need to interact with colleagues and have few contacts outside of work. Everyone has to look very carefully at which working model suits them best.
So are there employees who are more at risk of becoming lonely? Is it possible to generalize?
I am thinking primarily of "working nomads", commuters for example. Just take a look at Frankfurt. The city is full during the week and there are many closed restaurants at the weekend. If almost everything revolves around work during the week, social contacts at home are all the more important at the weekend. If something breaks down or there is a disruption because you have to look after sick parents, for example, a feeling of loneliness can quickly arise. Who can I turn to? How can I find a balance?
Another group are people with short-term contracts who look for a new employer every few years, either because they are forced to or because they want to pursue a career. This means constant breaks: new job, new city, new people. This can be tiring, so that at some point you no longer feel like constantly adapting.
"Loneliness is very pronounced at a young age"
When is someone lonely?
The decisive aspect is the feeling of whether I suffer from being alone and having few social contacts. The degree varies greatly from person to person. Some people need little social contact to be happy. These people will probably have few friends that they meet directly, but they don't necessarily suffer from it.
Others are in a relationship but feel lonely because they don't feel understood by their partner. So someone who wants more contact with other people but doesn't have it is lonely.
Loneliness is worse than cancer and as contagious as an epidemic, researchers warn. What is your assessment?
In my opinion, this is a rather exaggerated statement by psychiatrist Manfred Spitzer. Of course, loneliness has a negative effect on the psyche and can lead to depression. Social withdrawal is often a symptom of mental disorders.
But there are also people who prefer to keep to themselves. If I like to be alone, then I also look for friends who don't want to be on the phone and meet up all the time. Such groups of friends probably score highly in the loneliness questionnaires. It has nothing to do with contagion.
Are we lonelier than we used to be?
Yes, there are clear indications of this. Studies show that. It is interesting to note that until a few years ago, loneliness was mainly studied in older people and people with physical impairments. However, a British study shows that even young adults suffer from loneliness and that this affects their quality of life and health behavior. This means that they exercise less, eat less and generally take less care of themselves. At the same time, we don't yet know what effect networking via social media will have.
"We have more single households than before"
Do you have an explanation as to why more people feel lonely than before?
We have many more single households than we used to. This does not mean that people who live alone are automatically lonelier. However, a study by the Mainz University Medical Center found out how important it is to have a social environment that helps you - for example, if you are ill and need someone to drive you to the doctor.
So I need friends even if I'm the "lone wolf" type?
The real "lone wolf" is probably truly self-sufficient. However, a common phenomenon is that many people find it difficult to ask their network for help in difficult situations. Often out of shame or pride. So friends are one thing, but actively asking for help in crisis situations is the most important thing.
What can I do if I feel lonely?
Looking for a voluntary position, taking part in events. In other words, get active. But everyone is different. Some have to arrive in a new city in peace and quiet and haven't even moved into their apartment yet, while others have already joined their first sports club. Nevertheless, looking for networks and getting involved is a first step.
Dr. Udo Wortelboer, a specialist in psychiatry and psychotherapy, worked
worked in a managerial role in a clinic for psychiatry and psychotherapy until 2017.
worked. Since 2015, he has been working intensively on the topic of mental
health in the world of work.
Today, he works as a consultant in an occupational health center and for the pme
and for the pme Familienservice .
(Photo above: Verne Ho from unsplash)
