When toddlers scratch, hit or bite
A scratched face or bite wounds hurt, are visible for a long time and often trigger anger in parents and teachers towards the attacker and concern for the (own) affected child. Parents whose children behave aggressively often feel helpless or blame themselves for their own child's "misbehavior".
What is behind it when small children are aggressive, Ms. Haug-Schnabel?
The developmental causes and motives for aggressive behavior in children under the age of 3 are challenging.
If a very young child begins to cry, peers close to him or her are reassured of the presence and attentiveness of their caregivers and often begin to cry too. The reason for this is the innate emotional contagion that is triggered by irritation and fear in unsettling situations. It is also a kind of empathy, but without the "infected" child realizing that the subjective feelings of another person are the cause of their insecurity. It's better to cry along when unexpected things happen around me, because then I get help too.
It is only between 15 and 24 months that a child becomes increasingly aware of itself and its actions. Only now can they differentiate between their own plans and feelings and the feelings and intentions of another child in a situation and separate them from each other.
"Rarely does one child deliberately want to harm another."
This is a quantum leap in development: self-awareness begins. The child becomes aware of their feelings and actions and can relate a shared feeling to the person actually affected. This means that they can now think about the feelings and intentions of others - separately from their own.
Only now does the question arise as to whether aggression directed at another child was "intentional", i.e. with the intention of causing harm, which is rarely the case. Most of the time, it's just about ending their own "unhappiness"! The other girl or boy should simply go away and stop bothering them!
It is now planned in the course of development that children - thanks to their emerging ego-consciousness - will acquire more and more orientation, knowledge, skills and freedom - even in the face of resistance.
"Failure or interference will cause a collapse."
Failure, a stop or interference at this age will cause a breakdown for a few transitional weeks, as the child initially has to follow a rigid pattern when implementing its ideas: It cannot yet adapt to situational circumstances or respond to the wishes of others that interfere with its plan. In addition, he is so cognitively, emotionally and motivationally engaged in his play that it is too late to abandon or slightly modify his plan. His imaginative capacity is not yet sufficient for an alternative course of action.
The more understanding these situations are accompanied at home and in the nursery, the quicker the children can overcome this cognitive-social hurdle.
Dr. habil. Gabriele Haug-Schnabel is head and co-owner of the Human Behavioral Biology Research Group (FVM, GdbR) as well as author and speaker on the subject of "Child Behavior"
How do we deal with aggression from children in our childcare centers ?
The pedagogy of pme Lernwelten is not about preventing aggression and conflict. They are part of everyday interaction. Without conflicts, children cannot develop strategies to deal with them. That's why we want to support children in learning appropriate responses to conflicts and aggression.
Aggressive behavior often occurs in children between the ages of one and five for developmental reasons and then disappears again. Sometimes they are an expression of feelings that the child is not yet able to express verbally, or they are an attempt to "test" a social behavior. Biting is sometimes a side effect of teething.
It is important for us to always see both children. Both children - the injured child and the child who has been scratched, bitten, pushed or hit - have to deal with challenges. We help them to overcome these.
Important: quick, targeted action
In all of these aggressive forms of behavior, it is important for us to act quickly and in a targeted manner. We have therefore developed standards for the pedagogical actions of our specialist staff in an emergency. Comfort and wound care for the affected child always come first, but we also support the child who is behaving aggressively. We do not reward such behavior, but we never exclude a child because of it.
When children bite, scratch or hit, we observe them very closely:
- What preceded the behavior?
- Who was in the vicinity of the aggressive child? Who is also affected?
- Where does this behavior occur?
- When does the behavior occur? When does it not?
- How long does the behavior last?
We also pay attention to what is good for the child in our childcare center :
- Does it demand closeness?
- Does it want movement or does it need rest?
- Is it looking for confirmation?
We then reflect on our everyday life: Where are there potential stress situations and spatial bottlenecks? How can we take preventive action here, for example by changing the room design or taking measures to relax the situation in our daily routine?
pme Lernwelten
As a provider of over 75 childcare and educational facilities, we offer parents and their children high-quality and flexible education. Our colorful teams are made up of people from different nations, with diverse talents and interests.
You can find out more about our educational concept and current vacancies here: www.familienservice.de/web/pme-lernwelten
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