14.07.2026 Gabriele Strasser 17619

Daydreamer, Procrastinator, Hyperactive Kid: Does My Child Have ADHD?

Brushing teeth, hanging up a jacket, doing homework—things that seem simple can become major challenges in everyday life when a child has ADHD. Sabina Pahlke has advice for concerned parents. The systemic counselor and ADHD expert offers webinars and coaching sessions on ADHD for the staff of our partner organizations. In this interview, she explains how ADHD symptoms manifest in children and offers tips. 

Summary: How can I tell if a child has ADHD?

“Dreamer” describes the predominantly inattentive type of ADHD: Children appear distracted and tend to show inner restlessness rather than visible fidgeting. In everyday life, signs of exhaustion and delayed responses are noticeable (slow work pace, delayed answers, withdrawal). Small sets of tasks, clear time limits, and patient guidance are helpful. If a child withdraws or experiences ongoing performance issues, parents should have the symptoms evaluated by a professional.

Ms. Pahlke, ADD or ADHD? What is the difference?

Sabina Pahlke: The main difference is that in ADHD, hyperactivity is added to the symptoms of inattention and impulsivity. For this reason, children with ADHD are perceived as "fidgeters", whereas children with ADHD tend to appear dreamy and introverted. As a rule, one speaks of ADHD (attention deficit disorder) with or without hyperactivity.

What is special when a child has AD(H)S?

Sabina Pahlke: Children with ADHD generally have difficulty processing information and retrieving it “on time.” An extremely “open” stimulus filter allows information that is irrelevant to the situation at hand to enter the brain; in extreme cases, this information may even constitute almost all of the input. ADHD often manifests in very extreme behaviors. For example, there are children who meticulously organize and sort objects but show absolutely no understanding of keeping their closets tidy. When it comes to physical contact, these children often lack boundaries; conversely, however, they may react in what seems like an extreme way to physical advances. This can be disconcerting to their peers and lead to social exclusion.

How does a “daydreamer” differ from a “fidgeter” or “procrastinator” with ADHD?

Sabina Pahlke: Children who tend to be inattentive are often perceived as being slower overall. This “hypoactivity” usually becomes apparent as early as in the womb and continues after birth. These children often seem “distant” and tend to go unnoticed, except when they exhibit increased impulsivity in their behavior. There is a good book on this type by Helga Simchen: “ADS—Unfocused, Daydreaming, Too Slow, and Many Mistakes in Dictation.”The ADHS Deutschland website also provides agood overview of ADHD symptoms .

 How do parents experience their child's daydreaming in everyday life (at school, at home, during free time)?

The affected children show different symptoms. Based on my experience as a counselor, though without statistical evidence:

What specific strategies can help parents support their children during moments of daydreaming in everyday life (school, homework)?

How can parents use dreams in a positive way (e.g., to foster creativity or learning)?

Sabina Pahlke: This varies greatly from child to child, so the general rule for all children is: build on their strengths and praise them!

What warning signs indicate that dreaming is becoming a problem and that professional help is needed?

Sabina Pahlke: ​​​​​​​If they are intelligent enough, affected children often manage to get through elementary school. Things become problematic by then at the latest, and a diagnostic process should be initiated in a timely manner so that the child can receive help.

So if, even in kindergarten, a child prefers to play alone in the building or puzzle corner, cries easily, withdraws, seems oblivious to what’s going on, and at the same time goes unnoticed, everyone should take notice and take a closer look.

I'm sure many parents wonder if they've done something wrong.

Sabina Pahlke: I can reassure parents on this point: ADHD is genetic. The fact that a child has ADHD is due neither to parenting nor to any misconduct during pregnancy. However, external environmental factors can influence its course.

A daily routine that offers children little guidance, unclear expectations, constant negative feedback, and generally insufficient support can exacerbate existing ADHD symptoms.

What advice would you give parents on how to interact with their child on a daily basis?

Sabina Pahlke: It’s important to have a positive mantra: Remind yourself that your child is by no means behaving this way on purpose. Ultimately, children with this condition simply need about 100 more repetitions than other children to internalize routines.

Parents need to be patient and should always focus on just a few topics at a time. A child is more likely to succeed if they are given information and instructions in “small bites.” 

Motivational plans can be a good help at home and at school. External motivational incentives are particularly helpful for unpopular tasks such as tidying up the room. Through trial and error, parents and children can find out together which incentives are most likely to lead to success for them and the situation in question.