04.06.2023 Sabrina Ludwig 49064

Burn on: "I'm just functioning"

I can't cancel this appointment, I can't turn down the boss's request and the work has to be done! Many people feel exhausted and drained - but they can't find a stop button. They keep on working. Psychologists have coined the term burnout to describe this restless exhaustion. What is it? Who can it affect? And what can help against it?

By: Carola Kleinschmidt, trainer for multimodal stress management

The typical story of burnout patients reads like this: For years, you've worked yourself to the bone at work and in life. You've always given your all. Even when everything was too much. Only a breakdown or a serious illness stopped the running around.

Psychologist Timo Schiele has already treated many such patients. However, for several years now, the head psychologist at the Psychosomatic Clinic Kloster Dießen has increasingly observed patients who show many symptoms of extreme exhaustion - but at first glance, they appear to be far removed from a breakdown. Nor do they show the typical aversion to their job, the emotional detachment or cynicism that you see in typical burnout patients. On the contrary. If you ask these people about their life situation, they always say: "My life is good, I have a great family and I enjoy my work."

Not a word of "It's all too much for me" or "I don't like it anymore". On the contrary: they like to talk about their good job, the nice team and the intact family. And they want to be fit for work again as quickly as possible. They are often the ones in charge.

Signs of burn on: Blackout and sleep problems

These people come to the clinic because they want the doctor to get their health problems under control: blackouts, sleep disorders or pain. "Sometimes the environment also says: You've become a stranger to me. You have to do something," says psychologist Schiele. Or people are sent by psychotherapists who realize that the weekly sessions are not enough to help them with their sleep problems, anxiety or difficulties in setting boundaries. They come to every session dutifully - but they are obviously not able to change anything in their lives. They remain in the mental fast lane and continue to exhaust themselves.

Burn on syndrome: important symptoms

In their book "Burn On. Always on the verge of collapse", psychologist Timo Schiele and Bert te Wildt, head physician at the Kloster Dießen clinic, describe the new phenomenon of mental exhaustion.

Three features are characteristic:

1. the behavior: Burnout sufferers show great actionism in all tasks related to work and performance. However, when it comes to everyday tasks that can be postponed, there is a paralysis of action: the girlfriend is not called back for ages, sport is postponed, personal interests fall flat.

2. the emotions: On the surface, there is a strained positivism that is at odds with the actual joylessness experienced.

3. the mind: On the cognitive level, perfectionism dominates, which serves to compensate for the inadequacy felt deep inside.

All of this is barely visible on the surface. After all, at first glance, those affected seem to have a functioning everyday life. And: they talk themselves into their breathless lives. The suffering behind it only becomes visible in a deep conversation with the psychologist. It becomes clear that those affected are alienated from themselves. That behind the functional façade is a person who no longer feels any joy in life and is constantly afraid of not being enough.

The role of employers in burn on

The constant fear of not being enough drives these people to always give their all. All facets of their lives are subordinated to this ideal of performance: Not only the job, but also leisure time and family life should function perfectly and efficiently. Buffer times? There is no such thing. Time off or an agenda? Not a thing. Time pressure, overflowing diary and stress with the unexpected? Then you just have to organize better! And a cold, backache or migraine? That doesn't keep you from your tasks or work!

Unfortunately, this attitude is even desirable in many modern companies. In his studies, Swiss psychologist and work researcher Andreas Krause from the University of Applied Sciences Northwestern Switzerland shows that some management techniques actually encourage employees to constantly push themselves beyond their limits: For example, if managers allow employees to formulate unrealistic goals - which in the end can only be achieved with constant overperformance or umpteen hours of overtime - they encourage employees to exploit themselves.

Or when stress is made taboo, according to the motto: "If you have a problem, you are the problem." Managers who constantly push themselves beyond their limits also promote an unhealthy working style among their employees through their behavior, because they present constant overperformance as normal.

Life in the fast lane

In real life, a team leader with three children might reduce her working hours to 80% because she wants to pick up the little ones from childcare center and school in the afternoon. But she keeps 100% of her responsibilities. After all, she wants to increase her working hours again as soon as she can. She is convinced that everything is just a question of organization. She does her shopping on the way home, makes phone calls for the family during her break. And in the evening, as soon as the children are in bed, she sits down at the computer again to complete the tasks that were left undone during the day. This goes well for months - and even when symptoms of illness appear, they go unnoticed. Until blackouts lead her to the Dießen Monastery Clinic.

Or an engineer works every weekend for months on end because the major project constantly brings new complications. When a colleague is absent, he takes over his work - the boss stands idly by. In the end, he drags himself to work despite severe back pain. The ordeal only comes to an end because the major project moves to the next stage and thus out of his area of responsibility. His wife is so worried about his health that he goes to see a therapist.

Burn on therapy

The key to treating burnout syndrome is for those affected to recognize what they are doing to themselves with their lifestyle. It was only during a therapeutic exercise that the busy working mother realized that, deep down, family life was extremely important to her. But for many years, she had spent 90 percent of her time at work. The inconsistency moved her to tears. The engineer with burnout realized that he had been damaging his health on a grand scale by pumping himself full of painkillers to keep up with the job.

"When people come to a point in our clinic where they confront what they are doing to themselves, something changes," explains psychologist Timo Schiele. Ideally, they realize what is really important to them: family, friends or even health. And they allow themselves to think that these vital facets of life cannot always take a back seat to the ideal of performance.

Treating burn on in the clinic

Sounds simple, but it's hard work. In a way, people have to completely readjust their inner compass. This is a real sticking point, as they simply don't know any other way. "They learned at home that work always comes first," explains Timo Schiele. What are just proverbs for other people are internal laws for them: "Work first, pleasure second." - If paid work and family work are equally valued as work, this almost automatically leads to a life without room for breaks. "Life is not a concert of wishes." - If you accept every external demand on the assumption that you can't be choosy, you will almost inevitably exhaust yourself.

Recovery leads in small steps out of an exhausting life. For example, by patients starting to live their values in everyday life. Fixed rules and rituals can help with this. Those who have discovered for themselves that health and inner peace are of central importance may develop a morning ritual with a short meditation and yoga exercise to start the day. If you have recognized your family as an important anchor in your life, arrange a joint ritual with your loved ones, perhaps a games evening. Questions to yourself can also become an integral part of your life. For example, the question: "Do I really have to do this?" before accepting a task.

At the same time, patients and practitioners agree on clear time slots in the day in which work is really left out. No emails, no availability. Maybe after 6 pm. Or on Sunday. What looks like small steps is a huge change in the lives of those affected by burnout. Because where everything was previously tied down by the belt of performance, there is suddenly movement. The armor gets cracks through which light and air come. The soul can breathe again.

5 tips against burn on: For those at risk of burn-on

1. take early warning signs seriously

You've been meaning to call a good friend or go for a long walk for weeks. But somehow you never find the time and when you do, you end up squandering your free time with errands. On Mondays, you're already thinking about how you're going to get everything done on Friday. Or you're energetically shuffling from vacation to vacation. These are all early warning signs of burnout that you should take seriously.

2. learn to relax

In our performance-oriented society, most people can perform better than they can relax. That's why it's important to practise relaxation. Health insurance companies offer many free or low-cost courses. Some people love yoga, others autogenic training. Still others relax best when doing sport or being creative.

3. take breaks

The Stress Report Germany from the BAuA (Federal Office for Occupational Health and Safety) shows that a quarter of employees skip breaks at work. Among female managers, this figure is as high as 40 percent. Common reason: "Doesn't fit in with the work routine." "Too much work."

Breaks are not a reward for performance, but a necessity. Take a break after 60 to 90 minutes of exertion. Move around or drink a cup of tea, look into the distance to relax your eyes. Even 2-minute breaks improve your energy balance.

4. digital detox

Social media is the perfect way to distract yourself. But looking at your smartphone is often not relaxing. Set yourself a clear framework for consuming Instagram and messages. For example: Read messages after breakfast. Then no more until the evening. Half an hour of Instagram per day...

5. hello feelings

If you are constantly driving at full speed, you get a strange feeling when you slow down. Maybe you feel insecure because you don't have a clear deadline. You may even feel useless or anxious. These feelings need to be endured to some extent. You can look at them with curiosity. Then they will pass by themselves. Only then will you feel the relaxation you long for.

What is important to me? Ask yourself from time to time: Who am I if I don't perform? What else is important to me in life? What is indispensable to me? What would I take with me to a desert island? Such mind games can help us to recognize what we can do to bring balance and joie de vivre back into our lives.

Podcast: Understanding burnout - What burns us out?