Loneliness: the invisible danger
One in six Germans often feels lonely. But hardly anyone wants to admit it. The result: a maelstrom of exhaustion, depression, burnout - and poor work performance. How companies can support their employees with loneliness - and what you can do yourself if you feel lonely.
"As I got older, I knew I was different from the other girls because there were no kisses and promises in my life. I often felt lonely and wanted to die," said US actress Marilyn Monroe.
Being alone, spending time without other people: It can do you good. But if it hurts, even when you're with other people, then it's loneliness. And loneliness makes you ill. Chronic loneliness is as harmful as alcoholism or smoking 15 cigarettes a day, says American psychologist Julianne Holt-Lunstad. In 2010, she analyzed the data of more than 300,000 test subjects. The results are alarming: people who feel lonely all the time are more likely to be exhausted, suffer from inflammation, headaches, circulatory disorders and high blood pressure.
Upheavals in life can make you lonely
Loneliness often occurs when our lives change - and with them the social relationships that have shaped them: by moving to another city, after quitting our job or after our partner has left us. Like Julian, 30, who moved to Frankfurt a year ago for a new job: "I'm very often alone because I don't really know anyone well in the city. My colleagues have families and live far away, so I'm often alone at the weekend. I only know my colleagues from the marketing department and don't have the chance to get to know other people in the company who are my age. I would like to have a circle of friends with the same interests who, like me, also have time at the weekend. There are many people who, like Julian, would like more social contact. Almost one in six Germans often feel lonely, and one in two at least sometimes (Splendid Research, 2019).
The more successful at work, the lonelier
Those at the top of companies are also at risk: Managers and CEOs. The more powerful they are, the less their colleagues want to discuss the latest gossip with them at the lunch table. What makes the whole thing even more difficult is that decisions at the top usually have to be made alone. "Unfortunately, management positions are lonely positions," says Götz Mundle, psychologist and head of the Center for Mental Health in Berlin. "But people need someone to talk to when they have personal problems. This is often no longer the case at the highest levels. Family, friends or even confidants in the office are crucial here, because the human side of a manager must have room and space". In a major survey conducted by the Harvard Business Review, almost half of all top managers stated that they sometimes feel lonely. And 61 percent of managers and 70 percent of "former" CEOs admitted that their performance suffered as a result.
Lonely employees cost a fortune
People who feel lonely and isolated from the world perform less well at work. This was also confirmed by professors from California State University and the Wharton School of Business following a sample of 672 employees. Loneliness has "a significant impact on employees' work performance, both in direct tasks and on the effectiveness of their coworkers, teams and team roles (...)".
Loneliness therefore not only leads to poor performance, but also has a negative impact on the behavior of other people. This is also confirmed by the core statement of psychologist John Cacioppo: "People who feel lonely perceive the world as threatening. They may not be aware of it, but they harbor negative thoughts about other people. They spread these thoughts through their facial expressions, gestures, body language or comments". As a result, the performance of entire teams and departments can suffer from the isolation of a single colleague.
In addition, people who feel lonely are less resilient. This means that they feel threatened more quickly by crises, problems and stress factors in their lives and are helpless in the face of them. Instead of seeing life crises as opportunities, those affected collapse under the psychological burden, give up and withdraw. If someone feels lonely, the risk of mental illness is particularly high.
And that costs employers a lot of money. One look at the figures is enough: Sick employees cost the German economy around 225 billion euros a year, or around nine percent of gross domestic product (study by the Felix Burda Foundation).
How companies can help: Leaving the taboo zone
On the surface, loneliness may be the problem of the individual employee. However, managers and employers should take chronic loneliness seriously. This is because those affected often don't know how to find their way out of loneliness on their own. "For most people, it's quite a challenge to ask for support and talk openly about their life situation," says Corina König, who works as a systemic therapist and coach at pme Familienservice . There is a stigma attached to loneliness. It is embarrassing and shameful. The fear of being exposed is great. "It was very important to my clients that no one found out how lonely they felt - for fear of being classified as socially incompetent by those around them and then becoming even lonelier," says König. Instead of taking action, many of those affected withdraw more and more and try to keep up the façade. Hardly anyone around them realizes how much they are suffering. They are invisible and try to remain so.
To prevent this from happening, it is important that employers provide their employees with low-threshold support services that do not require them to overcome any major hurdles. Online or telephone counseling is one such form of support. "We offer our customers a 24-hour hotline where they can call anonymously at any time and speak to specially trained advisors and coaches," says König. "Writing or calling us and admitting that they feel lonely and want to step out of isolation is the first important step."
Overcoming loneliness: Cooking course, outdoor coaching, network meetings
Together with her clients, she then puts together an individual program that suits them. "For some, a cooking course with other people may be the right thing, for others it may not". König therefore has various offers for companies, such as consulting workshops, workshops, webinars and network meetings, where the focus is on exchanging ideas and meeting other participants.
The Allgäu native has had very good experiences with outdoor coaching: "A hike in the forest or in the mountains is a wonderful way to trigger feelings of happiness. Exercise causes the body to release endorphins, dopamine and other endogenous substances. This makes it easier for people to get in touch and get moving. And that's what it's all about: getting active, getting yourself moving and discovering your own methods and means of finding your way out of loneliness.
