Online advice: "The barriers are in the mind"
No waiting times, flexible location: psychologist Mandy Simon has been working on the pme Familienservice life coaching hotline for eleven years. We spoke to her about the possibilities of online counseling and the help it offers.
Ms. Simon, what questions and problems do you offer to help with?
Mandy Simon: Our customers can call us about any situation in life, whether personal or professional. It could be problems in a relationship, difficulties working from home, financial worries, trouble with a colleague, or simply the feeling that I'm not feeling well at the moment.
That sounds like I can turn to online advice for just about any problem?
Yes, our primary goal is not to leave anyone out in the cold and to make the "rucksack" lighter for the person calling. If I realize that the other person needs further, external help, then I look for local support. For example, when it comes to separation issues and child maintenance and custody. I would then refer my client to a family law solicitor, but remain available as a contact person for psychosocial support.
"I get immediate help with online advice."
What is the difference between online counseling or coaching and a therapy session?
We coaches work with methods that help people to rediscover their personal coping mechanisms and trust in themselves. For example, when there is great anxiety about exams, a relationship is on the brink, a job is getting out of hand. Psychotherapy is aimed at people who feel restricted by their problem in everyday life, so that more intensive treatment and other methods are required. And only those with a license to practice psychotherapy are allowed to treat people psychotherapeutically. The difference therefore lies in the level of suffering and the restrictions in everyday life.
And I have to wait a very long time for a therapy place.
Usually up to three months and often even longer. By then, a problem may have passed or disappeared, or the courage to face it may be gone. With online counseling, I get help immediately. And the coach or counselor can also provide me with good support while I'm waiting for a place in therapy, for example.
"Whether in person, by video or on the phone: it's about someone taking time for me and my concerns."
How can online advisors build trust with their clients despite the lack of personal contact?
Counseling work is relationship work. I build trust by signaling to my counterpart: I'm taking time for you and I'm only here for you and your concerns right now. It doesn't matter whether I do this in person, via video coaching or on the phone. At the end of the day, it's all about one thing: I have a counterpart who engages with me and takes time for me to find constructive solutions together.
Of course, there is always a personal component, for example if I don't like the voice of my advisor.
The fact that I don't like a coach could also happen to me in a personal consultation.
That is true. In this respect, the difference here is not as great as one might generally think. I think the barrier to engaging in online counseling is more in the mind. My colleagues and I are always amazed at how quickly people open up - whether on the phone or in a video consultation.
Why do you think some people open up more quickly on the phone or in video consultations?
For some, it is indeed much easier if they do not see the facial expressions of the advisor, as they quickly lose their train of thought if they perceive even the slightest doubt or mistrust in the eyes of their counterpart. Telephone counseling can also have the advantage of eliminating certain evaluation mechanisms: What does my advisor look like? How old is he or she? How is the room furnished? Many customers can concentrate better on the consultation and their concerns over the phone.
There are also people who find it very difficult to open up on the phone and want to see the person they are talking to. In this respect, we have the right medium for everyone: telephone, video or in person.
So it is possible to switch from online advice to face-to-face advice?
Yes, exactly. It is possible to switch flexibly between the different forms of consultation, i.e. to make a phone call first and then come to one of our locations for a face-to-face meeting - of course with appropriate distancing and hygiene measures.
Otherwise you might offer a glass of water. How do you replace small gestures on the phone or via video to make it easier to start a conversation?
By first introducing my clients to our online coaching system, explaining everything to them in peace and quiet and doing small exercises with them so that they can use the tool well. In this way, we create a personal and tangible framework in which we can get to know each other in a relaxed manner.
"For some, it's easier if they can't see their coach's facial expressions."
Can you understand that there are advisors who are critical of online advice and believe that it is no substitute for a face-to-face meeting?
I can certainly understand that, because it is a different form of counseling that counselors, therapists, coaches and clients first have to get used to. Nevertheless, I would like to encourage people to try it out and see: Is it really limiting me that much and am I denying myself support because of it? Especially now in the corona crisis, when personal advice would not be recommended anyway.
As an online consultant or online coach, do I need to be able to do anything different than when I give advice in person?
We have an online coaching tool that all our coaches have to know and learn to use. We provide regular training and make sure that everyone is and remains at the same level. We also practice with each other so that we can use it confidently and concentrate fully on the coaching.
And apart from the technology?
For example, if I'm advising a couple online and I notice that they're not even looking at each other, then of course I have to think about how I can ensure that they don't both start talking to each other. For me, however, this has more to do with sensitivity than with certain skills that I can learn on a course.
"The coronavirus restrictions mean that our previous compensation no longer applies."
What do your customers particularly appreciate?
That someone takes the time for them to tell them everything that is bothering or worrying them, and that someone listens and gives new impulses in the form of recommendations for action.
What is particularly depressing people at the moment?
The basic stress level is increasing. The coronavirus restrictions mean that we no longer have many of the things we used to do to compensate, such as having a drink with friends after work or going to the gym. The duties remain, but there's no fun. That's stressful, of course, and we now have to compensate for this lack of balance in other ways, which isn't easy.
Then there are colds, flu and coronavirus in winter. We go into quarantine, work from home and perhaps have to look after the children at the same time. Sooner or later, we reach our natural limits and need an outlet. None of us is Superman or Superwoman, even if we would all like to be.
Mandy Simon is a qualified psychologist and systemic coach in organizational development at pme Familienservice. She is also a certified online consultant.
As a specialist consultant, she supports managers and employees both in acute overload situations and in burnout prevention.
