Grief fat: when the soul grieves
Our eating behavior is often closely linked to our emotions. Food is more than just pure nourishment: it can provide comfort, pleasure and even serve as a reward. However, this coping mechanism can lead to unhealthy eating habits and promote the so-called grief fat. Find out here why eating is such an emotional issue for many people.
What is bacon?
In German, there is a term for the extra pounds you put on as a result of stress, grief and loss: "Kummerspeck" or "Trauerspeck".
However, this word also succinctly describes how profound feelings can tempt us to seek comfort through overeating.
Why we turn to food in times of grief and sorrow
Loss, grief and trauma are experiences that almost everyone goes through at some point. We grieve not only when loved ones or pets die, but also when less obvious losses occur: the end of a phase of life such as retirement, when the children leave home or when we lose a job.
Sometimes we also grieve for lost ideals, life plans or expectations that have not been fulfilled. The loss of a relationship or the loss of contact with a family member can also trigger these profound emotions.
These emotions not only influence our mental health, but also our body and our eating behavior.
Stress eating is also a form of emotional eating. Nutritionist Bastienne Neumann has four coping strategies.
What does grief feel like?
Like all emotions, grief, loss and trauma can also be felt in the body:
- Grief can feel like a heaviness in your body. You may feel lethargic and tired and have the feeling that something is lodged deep in your stomach. Or you may even have unexplained aches and pains.
- Loss often creates a feeling of emptiness or a "hole" in the center of your body.
- Trauma can feel like unexpected anxiety or fear. You may even have the desire to run and hide, or a physical feeling of being trapped. You are easily startled and literally "jump out of your skin" when the phone rings, for example.
Emotional attachment to food
Negative emotions can change the way we think about food. For example:
- You realize that you want to overeat at certain times, for example when you have important tasks.
- If you have lost something, you may eat because the loss feels like "wanting something". Eating is an attempt to "fill the void". The Portuguese have a word for this: saudade, which roughly translates as "a vague and constant longing for something that does not and probably cannot exist".
- Many people use food to deal with the fear of trauma, or having to deal with the potential trauma again. Deep down, people may feel that staying fat means staying safe - and turning into a slim, healthy body is scary.
Conclusion
- Painful thoughts and emotions have physical "signatures".
- Difficult emotions can feel like hunger or emptiness that needs to be filled.
- We could use food to deal with this pain and distract ourselves from it.
How to cope with grief and get rid of the fat of sorrow
- Develop mindfulness: Pay conscious attention to your eating habits and ask yourself whether you are eating out of genuine hunger or emotional stress. A regular mind-body scan (e.g. with the Mindance app) can help to identify emotional triggers for your eating behavior.
- Find alternatives to eating: Make a list of activities that bring you pleasure and calm you down, such as taking a hot bath, going for a walk in the woods or getting creative.
- Seek professional help: If you have difficulty dealing with emotional eating, don't be afraid to seek support from a therapist or nutritionist.
- Acknowledge pain and emotions: Emotional pain has physical effects that are often mistaken for hunger. Recognize that your pain is real and requires healing just like physical injuries.
- Learning to let go: Practice letting go of small things - be it a negative thought, an unhealthy habit or a self-criticism. This will help you to free yourself from the emotional shackles that drive you to emotional eating.
- Emotional pain has physical symptoms: grief, loss and trauma change the way you feel in your body, your appetite and your relationship with food. It's easy to confuse these feelings with hunger.
- It's real: all feelings of grief and loss are valid, whether you're dealing with the loss of your job, a divorce, or just life's little traumas.
- You are not bad, broken, weak or crazy: you are normal and human. Ask for help when you need it. The more support you have, the better.
Exercise: Letting go with intention
The fear of grief and loss also prevents us from letting go. We may think: "I need food X or behavior Y, because otherwise ...".
Practice letting go of something small over the next few days:
- a thought
- a self-criticism
- an idea or a picture of what you "should" do
- a familiar daily action
- one thing
- a foodstuff
- a training habit
Use a mind-body scan to observe what is happening. Tune into the negative and positive feelings. Once you have overcome the first challenge, letting go often feels very good.
Text: Fjodor Kendzierski, Editor: Christin Müller
We regularly offer various lectures and group coaching sessions on the topic of "emotional eating", which you can regularly find in our event database.
