Becoming happy: Tips from happiness minister Gina Schöler
People are happy when they have an eye for the small and big moments of happiness. Gina Schöler, head of the nationwide "Ministry for Happiness and Wellbeing" initiative, knows what the key to happiness is and why it's important to take a break.
Is there a formula for happiness?
Gina Schöler: Happiness is very individual, and I firmly believe that everyone has their own definition of happiness - which can also change over the course of a lifetime! In my opinion, there is therefore no real formula for happiness, no one-size-fits-all recipe for well-being. Happiness is simply far too subjective for that.
Even if this may sound a little sobering at first, the key to a good life lies in recognizing that we can actively do something about it ourselves. It's not about passively waiting to lose ourselves in the search or giving up responsibility, but about taking the first step, taking happiness into our own hands and thus making it tangible for ourselves and others.
When life tastes sour, how can I sweeten it?
First of all, it is completely normal that not everything always goes according to plan and smoothly. Alongside the good times, there are also those that we don't like so much.
If we accept this rollercoaster ride of life with all its ups and downs - and then make the best of it - we are already a good deal closer to happiness.
But we can also take targeted action to sweeten our lives. Self-care, mindfulness and helpfulness are the magic words.
How can moments of happiness be incorporated into everyday life despite high levels of stress?
By consciously making time for it. This may sound contradictory at first, but it is incredibly important for our well-being.
Try to incorporate a happiness ritual into your day, for example by taking time to enjoy your first coffee as soon as you get up, practising looking forward to certain things during the day or writing down three small things you are grateful for that day before going to bed.
You can also take small breaks throughout the day - the important thing is that you are aware of this and actively demand it for yourself. Never put yourself under pressure to do this every day. It is enough to know that we have the control to simply withdraw from the world for a few minutes, recharge our batteries and be happy.
What keeps us optimistic about an uncertain future?
Personally, when dealing with an uncertain future, it helps me to reflect on the here and now and all that I am grateful for. We can never fully influence or plan the future. Life is always good for a surprise!
But we can make life easier for ourselves by focusing on the moment and appreciating what is good and what works. An optimistic attitude towards life is very close to reality. After all, 85% of our worries never materialize to the extent that we imagine. And if something does happen, we are always more capable of acting than we expect.
So it's worth seeing the glass half full instead of half empty! The future will be good, and if not, we'll make the best of it!
For more wow effects in life: Can I learn to be happy?
For me, learning to be happy starts with a connection to yourself. Because in order to know what it means for us to be happy, we first have to get to know ourselves and find out which elements are key to our personal happiness.
This means setting out, sharpening all your senses, being kind to yourself and the world. This also includes a portion of curiosity, openness, zest for action and a bit of courage and adventurousness in order to perceive and appreciate the moments in life that make us feel alive and colorful.
And how do I know what makes me happy?
Most people certainly know intuitively what is good for them. And if we often do what is good for us, we are also happy doing it. It can help to go into silence and listen carefully to yourself. Through (self-)reflection, we become aware of what makes us happier.
A good first step is to be alone, in the truest sense of the word: ALL one, with all our feelings that are part of it. And then ask yourself essential questions: How am I feeling right now? What is driving me? What goals do I have and am I currently pursuing them? Am I standing up for my values?
Within the framework of reflection, we can find out what a good and happy life means for ourselves. Asking ourselves these questions and acting accordingly is enormously important for our individual happiness and well-being. This allows us to recognize who we are (and if so, how many).
How can I set myself little reminders of happiness in everyday life so that I don't forget my mission?
There are many ways to set small reminders. For example, we can hand out sticky notes with little messages at home: "Have you laughed today?", "A good day to be happy", "Try coziness", for example.
Of course, you can expand on this with encouraging words, small affirmations or goals. But it doesn't have to be something written down. Place an object on your desk, or wherever you spend a lot of time during the day, that reminds you of your mission. This could be a stone from your last vacation, a photo from your youth, dried flowers, a disco ball on the ceiling - there are no limits to your imagination.
We can also make use of technology: set your alarm clock to ring five times a day. Each ring is a reminder to pause briefly, press the pause button and be fully in the moment.
What we are currently practicing in the team: Everyone has created a group with themselves in WhatsApp and "pinned" it at the top so that it is immediately visible when you open the app and doesn't slide down. In this group, you write down all the good things you've discovered, done and felt. A kind of happiness diary, but very condensed, digital and suitable for everyday use. You can browse through it when your good mood takes a break. Have fun with it!
Will I be more successful if I am happier?
To answer this question, we should first take a step back and define what success means to us personally. Because just like the question of happiness, the question of success is as individual as we are.
So just ask yourselves: What really counts? What is important to me personally? What do I want to look back on? What do I want to leave behind? I am deeply convinced that if we do what makes us happy, we will automatically be successful. In return, we can recognize what happiness and success mean to us.
For Ralph Waldo Emerson (American writer, 1803-1882), success meant: "... to laugh often and much; to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children; to earn the approval of sincere critics and endure the betrayal of false friends; to admire beauty, to find the best in others; to leave the world a little better (...); to know that at least one man's life was easier because you had lived - that is, not to have lived in vain". And for you?
If I am a happy person myself, can I infect others with my positive feelings?
I am absolutely convinced of this! If we take good care of ourselves in the first step, become aware of what makes us happy and then act accordingly, we can also be there for those around us in the second step, take care of them, help and build them up. Sometimes it feels like we're tilting at windmills, but I'm certain that good deeds have a lasting effect. A kind word in stressful everyday life may not be received immediately, but the person it reaches carries it with them and perhaps adopts a different attitude in other situations.
Happiness research has shown that people who find money are much more helpful afterwards. I am sure that this also works with other positive experiences. I call this the "domino effect of good feelings".
4 tips from happiness minister Gina Schöler
One of my favorite methods is the Gratitude diaryWriting down what I'm grateful for, even - or especially - when I'm not doing so well.
Since connection with others is essential for well-being, I like to contact my Favorite people in the dark times. I feel safe with them and can be who I am.
In addition - at least for me - it is an absolute guarantee of happiness when I make others happybe it through a small gift, a kind word or a helping hand.
One last tip is the Mob break: Even as the Minister of Happiness, some things get on my nerves. Instead of moping around all day, I set the alarm clock for 2 minutes and let out all the negative things that are bothering me. Ranting, shouting, swearing and grimacing - it's incredibly liberating and usually makes me laugh again in the end.
Gina Schöler is a happiness minister, trainer, speaker and author in the fields of happiness, positive psychology and life design. She heads the nationwide initiative "Ministry for Happiness and Wellbeing" and calls for an increase in gross national happiness with colorful campaigns and offers.
The interview is from our archive (2021).
(Photos Gina Schöler: Marco Justus Schoeler)
