Child protection: our childcare center as a safe place
How do we protect the emotional well-being of children? An example from our childcare center Kids World.
In the Kids World team, we primarily focus on our attitude when dealing with actions and words that can be hurtful and emotionally painful. To this end, we work intensively with needs-oriented pedagogy and non-violent communication.
Needs orientation - what does that mean?
Needs orientation is not a concept, but a fundamental attitude. Every person - be it a professional, parent or child - is seen as an individual with equal dignity who contributes their individual experiences, needs, feelings, limits and interests.
Needs orientation means:
- We take the needs of children and parents seriously.
- We respect the boundaries of children and parents.
- We involve children and parents in decisions.
- We are sensitive to "complaints" from children and parents.
- We build trust.
It is not about fulfilling all the wishes of children and parents (immediately), sparing them any frustration and anger or avoiding conflicts. It is important that educational professionals recognize their own needs instead of ignoring, denying or suppressing them.
This is why needs-oriented pedagogy is so important:
- Saying NO too
- Taking the needs and limits of educational professionals seriously
- Finding compromises between the different needs of ALL (children, parents, professionals) and being in touch
- Develop empathy for your own needs and the needs of others
- Moving from "learned helplessness" to responsibility
(Source: Wedewardt/Hohmam; Accompanying children in a mindful and needs-oriented way)
The attitude towards the child makes all the difference
Every educational professional can confirm that living with children can be a challenge. We have probably all reached our limits at some point and have not always behaved "like the textbook". We are concerned with the fundamental attitude towards the child. Do I blame the child or unfavorable circumstances for the fact that I couldn't react differently? Or do I check whether the reason for my behavior can be found in myself? How pronounced is my willingness to reflect? Do I interpret the child's actions as intentional and provocative? Or do I think "Every behavior has a reason" and go in search of clues? What need could be behind the behavior? What are my needs? Have I taken on too much or failed to get support in time? Knowing this is a great strength in order to remain capable of acting.
Unintentional, assaultive, criminally relevant: Crossing boundaries takes many forms
In everyday life, "small" and hidden transgressions often occur. They are just as hurtful to children as physical or sexual assaults, but are often overlooked or played down.
Unintentional border violations
These boundary violations cannot be completely avoided in everyday educational work, as everyone has different boundaries. That is why it is important to talk about them as a team, reflect on individual actions and develop ways to address them with each other.
Unintentional boundary violations can manifest themselves physically, verbally or non-verbally:
- Pulling the child onto your lap despite resistance
- Dressing or undressing the child without being asked (e.g. "so that they can get out more quickly")
- Child must taste while eating
- Talking about the child in the presence of the child or in front of other children
- Derogatory remarks (e.g. "You're the last one again!")
- Teaching traditional gender roles (e.g. "What are you wearing? Those are girls'/boys' clothes!"
- Look at child sternly or disparagingly
- Ignore or "leave" the child
Assaults
Assaults do not happen accidentally or unintentionally. An abusive professional deliberately disregards the child's boundaries and thus social norms and rules or professional standards. This dimension of boundary transgression is an expression of insufficient respect for the child. This includes deliberately frightening or exposing a child and ignoring the child's signals.
Further examples:
- Separating a child (e.g. on a penalty bench)
- Aggressive language
- Reducing the child to actions (e.g. predicting how the child will behave)
- Showing off a child in front of others (e.g. if they have to show off with wet pants)
- Care situation (e.g. nappy changing) in an inadequately protected area
Criminally relevant forms of violence
Criminally relevant forms of violence include bodily harm, sexual assault or abuse.
Examples are
- Hitting, kicking, shaking, pulling the child by the arm (e.g. dragging the child behind you)
- Locking a child in or out
- Pushing food into the child's mouth against its will
- Forcing the child to sleep (e.g. preventing them from getting up through physical contact)
"Unheard of" or "not worth mentioning"? People have different individual perceptions
Beyond legally defined boundaries, we experience our own boundaries and those of others very differently. What one person perceives as an outrageous encroachment on personal autonomy is not worth mentioning for another. Decisive factors here are the individual's own biography, individual interpretations of values and norms, how power is dealt with in educational work, the ability and willingness to reflect, the pedagogical attitude and the professionalism of a specialist.
In order to be able to recognize the boundaries of children and adults, we need to be aware of and reflect on our own boundaries. Questions such as:
- When do I go beyond my own limits and why?
- Whose need is it right now? Mine as a professional or that of the child? For example, when I comfort a child, does the desire for comfort come from the child?
- Am I acting inconsistently with the agreed pedagogical stance?
- When was the last time I exceeded a limit?
- When have I encountered a boundary violation in a professional context and what did it look like?
"The experience of others respecting their boundaries is an important experience for children and a building block on the path to a strong personality."
Christin Füchtenschneider manages childcare center Kids World in Halle/Westphalia.
Code of conduct for the team provides certainty and orientation
Teams change, pedagogical approaches evolve - so it is all the more important to regularly "refresh" the attitude and conceptual implementation. It makes sense to have a code of conduct that sets out rules for dealing professionally with closeness and distance as well as appropriate behavior when interacting with children and provides certainty. What are the no-gos in our childcare center? What are the consequences of misconduct? How can needs-based pedagogy be implemented when a child's behavior is challenging?
This enables a culture of mindfulness, and transgressions and mistakes can be openly addressed and reflected upon. The basis for this is an open and appreciative exchange and a culture of error culture. We want to learn from each other, view feedback as an enrichment, establish a culture of looking at things and engage in conversation. Among other things, we ask: Why and in which situations do boundaries get crossed? Could they have been prevented? What does my proximity-distance behavior look like? Are my language and choice of words respectful? Do I speak up when I observe a boundary being crossed or do I support the system by remaining silent?
Helpful tools for us as a pedagogical team
- Collegial observation/consultation
- Institutional child protection concept including code of conduct
- Continuous reflection on pedagogical actions (e.g. team meeting, supervision)
- Error-accepting climate (everyone can speak openly about their own misconduct)
- Tolerance in the team, seeing a supposed "weakness" as a strength
- Exercises for self-reflection, e.g. using (fictitious) case studies
- Empathy exercises (what would a child say in a certain situation if they could put their feelings into words?)
- Change of perspective exercises
- Duty rostering that prevents specialists from being overburdened
- Regular and timely communication with the management (not just when there is a fire).
How do we at Kids World react when boundaries are crossed?
One major hurdle is the often very pronounced need for harmony in childcare center teams. However, the desire to get along well must not take precedence over the child's needs! Anyone who notices misconduct must address it - regardless of friendship or loyalty. It is important to deal with any transgression of boundaries as constructively and profitably as possible for everyone. A mindful and participative leadership style and solidarity play a role here: team members need support in the event of difficulties and in the event of (imminent) overload or excessive demands.
The management and provider have a key position here. As part of the development and revision of the concept and the induction of new team members, we always talk about power, violence and coercion by professionals towards children. Clear written agreements, e.g. on the procedures for mealtimes, sleeping and rest times, drop-off and pick-up situations, help here.
The following options and consequences are available:
- Professionals are asked about their behavior towards children in an appropriate setting ("I was irritated by your behavior towards the child today, I would like to know your view on this ...").
- Professionals address their own transgressions and those of colleagues with the management.
- Team members raise the issue of management or deputy management overstepping boundaries with the responsible body.
- Space and time for collegial advice
- Regular case discussions
- Involvement of specialist advice
- Supervision for processing
- Mandatory further training
- Measures under labor law: Instruction, leave of absence, admonition, warning, dismissal
Open exchange instead of apportioning blame
The discussion in the team should encourage reflection on patterns of action, the choice of words and language as well as one's own (manifested) beliefs in dealing with the children. It is not about apportioning blame, but about exchanging views on the perception of one's own boundaries and those of the children in a climate of openness and reflecting on one's own actions. The focus is on the children and all their needs.
The experience of others respecting their boundaries is an important experience for them and a building block on the way to a strong personality. If we are unable to recognize or anticipate the children's needs, we go in search of clues. Needs-oriented pedagogy offers a good opportunity to offer children a safe place despite their own biographical experiences, manifest patterns or difficult framework conditions.
A lot has been set in motion
At our childcare center , we deal with this topic in every large team meeting (once a month for 2 hours). To this end, we have drawn up an elaboration that grows and is adapted with the team. After each impulse, the six small teams receive a "homework assignment", which they present to the next large team. This has already set a lot in motion. We are incredibly happy that the team is showing such great interest. Because all our efforts benefit the people who are entrusted to us every day: THE CHILDREN!
About the pme Lernwelten
As a provider of over 75 childcare and educational facilities, we offer parents and their children high-quality and flexible education. Our colorful teams are made up of people from different nations, with diverse talents and interests.
You can find out more about our educational concept and current vacancies here: www.familienservice.de/web/pme-lernwelten
