15.03.2024 Gabriele Strasser 6012

"Cancer is scary, but not unspeakable"

As part of the campaign "Unspeakable? Cancer in everyday working life", pme employee Susanne talks about her cancer at the age of 31.

"I'm Susanne, 36 years old. And I had breast cancer when I was 31". This is how the first video for the campaign "Unspeakable? Cancer in everyday working life". In the interview, pme employee Susanne talks about her illness, the treatment and what helped her the most during this difficult time.

Dear Susanne, what was it like when you were diagnosed?

Susanne: When my daughter was still a baby, I discovered a lump in my breast while breastfeeding. But my gynecologist sent me away again. She said I was far too young for it to be serious. It must have something to do with breastfeeding.
After other doctors turned me away on the same grounds, I went to a large center. Then everything happened very quickly: I was diagnosed within a week and started chemotherapy two weeks later. It lasted six months - with all the side effects that go with it. After that, both my breasts were removed and I received breast implants. Then the spook was over and I had to find a new direction.

How did you feel during chemotherapy? 

The therapy is very exhausting for the body. I felt very tired, was weak and had to sleep a lot. That also had an effect on my mind. 

Was there anything that supported you during the therapy?

What really supported me during and after therapy were the people in my social circle who were there for me. I was always happy when I got a phone call or someone came by and said: "Come on, let's have a chat". You're happy about banalities because otherwise you just think about the illness. The support from psycho-oncologists was also very helpful. 

And what helped you during this difficult time?

Being constantly confronted with pity is the last thing you need in this situation. What I needed, and in some places got, was normality. 

You previously worked at childcare center . How did your team members react to the cancer diagnosis?

I found it very valuable that I didn't feel any pressure. I was given the feeling that I could take my time and heal in peace. And it's not just the physical healing, but above all the mental healing, and that takes so much longer. 

However, there was also a fear of contact among colleagues. Colleagues should have more confidence to make or maintain contact. It is important to still feel part of the whole, because social isolation during such an illness is very stressful. 

You reoriented yourself professionally after the therapy. Why did you do this?

It quickly became clear that I couldn't continue working at childcare center . That was very painful because I loved this job so much. But on the one hand, there is an increased risk of injury. On the other hand, the long-term mental impairment is very serious. The chemotherapy really affects my ability to concentrate, I'm still dealing with it almost five years later, and my overall performance has dropped significantly. 

However, I also saw that there was a huge range of opportunities ahead of me and I sought support. I went to a social counseling service while I was still in rehab, after which I started a career guidance program and worked with an expert to find out: "What can I actually do now?".

I really wanted to stay in education and work with people. I now work at pme Familienservice as a central specialist advisor and am responsible for providing educational support and advice to over 60 childcare centers and crèches across Germany. And I have started training as a systemic consultant and therapist, which is now almost finished. 

You have been very courageous and open about your illness ...

Yes, I posted a lot on Instagram, showed myself bald, talked about my chemo. When you have cancer, you feel like you're completely alone in this chaos, in this catastrophe. But you're not. And when someone deals with it openly, it gives others a lot of comfort.

... also with your applications. How was your experience?

I wasn't even invited to some job interviews because I made it very clear in my application where I came from, what had happened to me in the last year and a half and what requirements this would entail for a new job. That's a shame, because people who have had or have cancer also have great potential and expertise. 

What do people need from their employers in order to get a good or new start in their job? 

In my view, openness and respect are important at all levels. I need to be able to say how I'm feeling and trust that my team members will handle it well.

After cancer, there are quite a few appointments, e.g. follow-up care every few months. I hope that those affected don't have to be afraid to say: "I'm afraid I'm going to miss today because I'm going to the doctor".  

How is your job at the moment?

I really appreciate my team and my employer for being so understanding and that I can always say: "Hey, I need a break" or "I can't do this today". I can always talk about what's on my mind, for example when I come back from a follow-up examination worried.

What is unspeakable about cancer? Or to put it another way: what does it take to talk about cancer? 

Cancer is scary. Cancer is unpredictable. Cancer comes without announcing itself and you can't see it. I think it's also so difficult to talk about cancer because it's immediately associated with death. But cancer doesn't always mean death. I'm sitting here and I'm alive - maybe more than I was five years ago. 

There is a wonderful quote by Irvin Yalom who says, symbolically, that the greatest fear we have is the fear of death, and that we humans are not able to talk about this greatest fear.

But cancer is not unspeakable. The more we talk about cancer, the more understanding we have for each other and the more normal it becomes to deal with people who tick differently or don't function the way we would perhaps like them to.
 

Video shoot for the campaign "Unspeakable? Cancer in everyday working life"