19.04.2021 Kerstin Kuchmetzki 3135

Which secondary school is the right one?

Parents should approach the choice of secondary school with care. pme parent advisor Marilena Buerkle has helpful tips that can make the difficult decision easier for parents.  

In many federal states, parents have to decide which secondary school their child should go to after the 4th grade. Far too early, according to some experts. And indeed, it is often difficult for parents to assess which type of school is the right choice for their child. "My child is going to grammar school!" - increasingly seems to be a status symbol for parents. And they do everything they can to ensure that their child has a path to the Abitur and thus a bright future.

However, many children fail at grammar school and have to change school again. Pressure and excessive demands can have serious consequences. Changing schools because of poor grades is a terrible experience for children and can lead to long-term problems such as school refusal, learning inhibitions and disorders, behavioral problems and depression.

1. do not make the choice of school type alone

Making a decision about your child's future school career is always difficult. It makes sense to involve teachers and school social workers. Bear in mind that they can usually assess your child quite realistically as they see them regularly in everyday school life. It is also important to consider your child's stage of development. Sometimes, despite good academic performance, a child is not up to the pressure and high demands of grammar school.

The child should also have a say in the choice of school. In fourth grade, children often know exactly what they are capable of and what they are confident in.
Of course, you cannot leave the decision to the child alone. But it makes sense to discuss with your child what they should do after elementary school and to respect their wishes. 

2. avoid excessive demands 

Some children are not quite ready by the time the decision for a particular school has to be made. If the average grade is only just good enough, it is better to choose an alternative. Constantly studying at the limit and just barely reaching the class target will ultimately only bring stress and unrest into the whole family life, and the child itself will be under constant pressure. 

3. give your child time

Some children simply need a little longer. Give them the time they need. Because the path you have chosen does not have to be a one-way street. It is always possible to change the type of school, be it after the 5th or 6th grade or after the first school-leaving certificate. This gives your child the opportunity to develop at their own pace without pressure.

4. alternative routes to the Abitur

Even if your child doesn't have an Abitur in their pocket yet, the train hasn't left the station! There are numerous opportunities to catch up on school-leaving qualifications and other qualifications via various educational paths. For example, it is possible to catch up on the Abitur with an intermediate school leaving certificate at a specialized grammar school. There are commercial, technical or linguistic schools, and technical and vocational colleges also offer the opportunity to obtain the advanced technical college entrance qualification or - with certain additional qualifications - the general higher education entrance qualification.

In addition, a second-chance qualification demonstrates motivation, commitment and a willingness to learn - which can certainly be an advantage when applying for a job later on. 

Marilena Buerkle is a parenting consultant at pme Familienservice in Karlsruhe.

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