Young woman playing with two children on the floor
Parent & Child

Hosting an Au-pair : Requirements & process

Hosting an Au-pair at home means not only relief in everyday family life, but also cultural exchange at eye level.  

Michelle Mihm, Au-Pair Product Manager & Specialist Consultant for Care in Private Households at pme Familienservice, explains what requirements must be met, what the process looks like and what prospective host families should look out for when choosing an au pair. at pme Familienservice.

What does it mean to host an Au-pair in Germany? 

Hosting an Au-pair means welcoming a new family member - usually a young person who comes from a different culture and first has to get used to life in Germany.  

During the stay, the Au-pair takes onlight care and household tasks, while in return receiving accommodation, food and pocket money. For the host family, this means above all investing time, patience and openness in order to make the Au-pair 's start in a new country easier. At the same time, an Au-pair enriches everyday family life through cultural exchange and new perspectives 

"An Au-pair should be seen as a younger sister or brother who is integrated into everyday family life and with whom you grow together," says Michelle Mihm, Product Manager Au-Pair & Specialist Consultant for Care in Private Households.

Can anyone host an Au-pair ? 

In principle, anyone who meets the necessary requirements can take on an Au-pair . These include a suitable living situation, the care of a child and certain legal conditions. Anyone who meets these criteria can benefit from the many advantages that an Au-pair brings to the family.

What are the requirements for hosting an Au-pair in Germany? 

For a family to be able to host an Au-pair in Germany, a number of requirements must be met: 

  • There must be at least one child under the age of 18 in the family. 
  • The Au-pair must have their own furnished, lockable and heated room of at least 8 square meters. 
  • The colloquial language in the family should be German. 
  • At least one parent must have German citizenship. 
  • The family covers the costs of accommodation, food, pocket money and insurance as well as a subsidy for the language course. 
  • The host parents enable participation in the language course and other courses and leisure activities offered by the pme Familienservice. 
  • The Au-pair is entitled to 4 weeks paid vacation (or 2 days per month pro rata) for a 12-month stay.

How much does it cost to host an Au-pair in Germany?

If a family takes in an Au-pair in Germany, the cost of living increases accordingly. This is because there is another adult living in the household.   

The costs that families should consider when taking in an Au-pair are made up of various items: 

  • Pocket money: at least 280 euros per month 
  • Accident, health and liability insurance: around 50 euros per month 
  • German course: approx. 70 euros per month 
  • Costs for board and lodging, including during the au pair's free time or illness: around 250 to 300 euros per month 

How long can an Au-pair stay in Germany? 

An Au-pair can stay in Germany for a minimum of 4 months and a maximum of 12 months . The length of stay is agreed individually and can be adjusted according to the needs and possibilities of the family and the au pair. 

How do I find an Au-pair? 

At pme Familienservice , we place au pairs with selected families throughout Germany and support both au pairs and host families throughout their stay. We attach great importance to careful selection and continuous support from our experienced local staff. 

In addition to pme Familienservice as an Au-pair in Germany, there are also other platforms that place au pairs. 

"Many families find their Au-pair independently and then come to us for further support. We offer consultations in advance and explain what to look out for when Au-pair on your own. It is important to know that au pairs must be between 18 and 26 years old. While some platforms don't always check the age exactly, we make sure that all requirements are met." - Michelle Mihm

pme Familienservice is the leading Au-pair

pme Familienservice is one of the leading Au-pair in Germany and is an official member of the international Au-pair IAPA and the German Au-Pair. The pme Familienservice Familienservice are also certified by the Gütegemeinschaft Au-pair e.V. with the RAL quality mark. 

Challenges that families and au pairs may face

Hosting an au pair in Germany enriches everyday family life with new perspectives and cultural experiences. But it also brings challenges. 

Many au pairs who come to Germany often experience a culture shock, and language barriers can make the start a little bumpy. This phase requires a lot of patience, understanding and loving support. For the families, this means investing time in intensive training and good organization.  

This intensive initial period pays off, as the Au-pair gradually becomes a great relief and enriches everyday family life with new perspectives and experiences. 

The pme Familienservice is there to support families and au pairs throughout their stay, e.g. with tips against homesickness, assistance with language problems and help with health issues.

We look after au pairs during their entire stay! 

Our au pairs are well looked after during their stay. We offer WhatsApp groups, a Facebook group, regular meetings and a 24-hour emergency hotline just for au pairs. This means they are well connected and supported at all times. 

All information for au pairs in Germany. 

How long does it take to get an Au-pair in Germany? 

The time it takes for an au pair to arrive in Germany can vary greatly. The appointment for the visa at the embassy depends on the country of origin and can range from 8 weeks to 8 to 10 months. There are often au pairs who already have an appointment so that the decision can be made within 2 to 4 weeks. Overall, the process can take between 2 and 10 months, depending on the country of origin and the political situation.

Is the process also supported with your own au pairs? 

Yes, we also support families exclusively with the visa process. Here, too, we conduct preliminary consultations with the families who would like to look for an Au-pair on their own and then support them in the further process.

Which countries do the au pairs come from? 

Our au pairs currently come mainly from India, Madagascar, Indonesia, South America and Armenia. Countries such as Australia, America or New Zealand are hardly represented, as no visa is required for au pairs there.

Au-pair with pme Familienservice

pme Familienservice is your strong partner for safe and qualified Au-pair in Germany. With over 30 years of experience in Au-pair, pme Familienservice offers families and au pairs comprehensive information, qualified advice and reliable support throughout their stay. 

Placement is free of charge for au pairs.

zero CEO Alexa Ahmad on love

to see is CEO Alexa Ahmad
Leadership & HR

"You have to love your team members" 

"You have to love your team members. Some make it easy for you, and others make it harder," says Alexa Ahmad, CEO of pme Familienservice. She focuses on personal closeness and connection as the key to corporate success and firmly believes that interpersonal relationships within the team are crucial to resolving conflicts constructively, creating a harmonious working environment and being successful in business. 

"It is part of our leadership obligation to learn to love people who make it harder for us"

You attach great importance to personal closeness and solidarity within the company. Why do you pursue this philosophy?  

Alexa Ahmad: There are three reasons for this. One is that I have a heart for our team members and I feel like an employee and team member myself. The second is a socio-political responsibility that each of us bears and also as a company. Thirdly, the business context: I had a case where a team member in my management circle was politically completely at odds with the others, and that led to extreme entanglements. People who were really very reflective could no longer separate the two.

But if we completely reject someone as a person, it is not possible for many people to work together cooperatively. This has an extreme impact on business. Rejection often turns into avoidance or other friction - which almost inevitably leads to poorer results in all areas. It's dangerous when team members don't get along with each other. I say to my team members: "You can go at me if you like, but agree with each other".  

How do you define love and connection in the context of the company?

For me, this means that I have a positive image of team members, customers, partner organizations and suppliers. I say to my managers: "You have to love your team members. Some make it easy for you, others make it harder".

It is part of our leadership obligation to learn to love people who make it difficult for us. This applies to all people with whom we are allowed to work in a professional context.

One example: We had a lot of irritation and trouble with a client company. My colleague didn't want to have anything more to do with our contact person. It was a long-standing contact person of mine. She felt that I 'loved' her - meaning that I understood her situation, her needs and her actions , even if they were contrary to our interests. As a result, we were able to negotiate benevolently together again and find new solutions to the problems, taking into account our very different interests.  

When we make a serious effort to understand why someone ticks one way or another, people sense this. It's about finding a way to meet each other. An attitude that is benevolent and open to new agreements and solutions - that's what I mean by 'love'.  

How do you promote a culture in which your team members support and value each other?  

I do not consider myself to be a good manager and I am constantly trying to improve. I encourage my team members to be open about their interests and to have an open exchange of ideas. It's not unusual for people to come to me and get really upset about another team member. Then I ask: Have you spoken to the person and explained why this is annoying you? In 80 percent of cases, they say: No!  

Any conversation with a critical trigger can fail, no matter how well prepared I am. That is then a conflict. However, over 80 percent of the people I "send back" come to a positive conclusion with their counterpart. And if that doesn't work out, I'm there to support them. If I can't fix it either, we use our team members who are specially trained in conflict resolution.  

"My managers have 'bite inhibitions' on my farm "

In your private life, you live on a farm with lots of animals in the Vogelsberg. What role do the meetings you invite your management team to play there? 

At first, I only introduced these meetings out of desperation. My schedule was tight - I couldn't travel, so they came to me. Now I deliberately hold these meetings on my small self-catering farm. I guess it's because of the rural setting, where there are far fewer heated arguments than in the usual meeting rooms.  

My managers there have "biting inhibitions" (laughs). They behave completely differently in the Vogelsberg than in the office context. It's more harmonious, they and we are more willing to compromise and are more benevolent towards each other.  

What role do celebrations play in team spirit?

A realization from many decades as a manager: I only want us to hire people who are willing to celebrate with us. I now warn my managers: "If you hire someone who refuses to do this on principle, you're asking for trouble". A maximum of four events per year, e.g. team building, sports events, Christmas party, summer party, smaller team events.  

I have found that people who don't want to show up there have a high potential for conflict all year round. potential for conflict in their teams throughout the year. By not taking part, they quickly find themselves in an outsider position, the extent of which they cannot assess. You can't generalize, but that's usually the case.

That doesn't mean that we don't take into consideration if someone has social phobia or is totally stressed out for a year because they have taken on the care of their parents. That's a different matter.  

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What do you think about forming networks in companies, e.g. for singles who are looking for a partner?

That's a trick question because you know that I've been dreaming of a company-supported singles platform for years. Women, and in some cases men, often take high risks to meet potential partners.  

There are so many platforms where we can meet people - for hiking or sports - that are all very anonymous and unsafe. We have been placing au pairs, elderly care and babysitters for decades. Seekers have to register with their company address and can always be assigned to an organization. If necessary, anonymity can be revealed, which is a huge protection.  

We need to get the topics of dating and loneliness out of the dirty corner and offer a safe platform. Employers have an interest in their employees maintaining good, stabilizing relationships, romantic relationships, friendships and professional networks.  

"Loneliness is a major issue for employees"

So should HR focus on relationships, love and sexuality?

Of course, we don't want to question or even analyze the sex lives of our team members. But we need to understand that it's not just the threat of burnout, a sick child or a relative in need of care that puts a strain on our team members. Increasingly, it is loneliness or an unfulfilled desire to have children. This places a heavy burden on people and leads to intense life crises that slowly creep up on them.  

Statistically speaking, loneliness affects precisely those we are currently recruiting, namely young people under 30. 18 to 25-year-olds suffer the worst from loneliness, which shocked me. They are just leaving home, becoming self-employed and then come home to an empty apartment in the evening. This is exactly where our platform would come in. 

Apart from such a platform, which does not yet exist, companies can already set up networks for target groups today. This is nothing new! Company sports groups have been around for over 100 years and groups for single parents or women's networks for decades.  

The challenge is to sense which group offers would be used. For example, there are unfortunately very few e-sports groups*, cooking groups are still very popular, or what about a group for office dog owners?

The basis for everything is that the company - and as its representatives, the managers - do not see it as a danger if their team members meet outside of working hours. That they recognize the great positive effect of team members getting to know each other better and networking.

*An e-sports group is a digital sports club: People train together, develop tactics and compete against other teams online in video game competitions - sometimes even in tournaments with real prizes and live broadcasts. Team spirit, technique and tactics take center stage - the thrill replaces the physical sweat.

Lost in Space: The pme Survival Guide for uncertain times

Do you sometimes feel "lost" in crisis mode? With our initiative "Lost in Space? The pme Survival Guide for uncertain times", we provide our customers with valuable tools for work, love and ageing.