Young woman playing with two children on the floor
Parent & Child
28.08.2025 Ifenna Ekezie 2737

Hosting an Au-pair : Requirements & process

Hosting an Au-pair at home means not only relief in everyday family life, but also cultural exchange at eye level.  

Michelle Mihm, Au-Pair Product Manager & Specialist Consultant for Care in Private Households at pme Familienservice, explains what requirements must be met, what the process looks like and what prospective host families should look out for when choosing an au pair. at pme Familienservice.

What you can expect in this article

What does it mean to host an Au-pair in Germany? 

Hosting an Au-pair means welcoming a new family member - usually a young person who comes from a different culture and first has to get used to life in Germany.  

During the stay, the Au-pair takes onlight care and household tasks, while in return receiving accommodation, food and pocket money. For the host family, this means above all investing time, patience and openness in order to make the Au-pair 's start in a new country easier. At the same time, an Au-pair enriches everyday family life through cultural exchange and new perspectives 

"An Au-pair should be seen as a younger sister or brother who is integrated into everyday family life and with whom you grow together," says Michelle Mihm, Product Manager Au-Pair & Specialist Consultant for Care in Private Households.

Can anyone host an Au-pair ? 

In principle, anyone who meets the necessary requirements can take on an Au-pair . These include a suitable living situation, the care of a child and certain legal conditions. Anyone who meets these criteria can benefit from the many advantages that an Au-pair brings to the family.

What are the requirements for hosting an Au-pair in Germany? 

For a family to be able to host an Au-pair in Germany, a number of requirements must be met: 

  • There must be at least one child under the age of 18 in the family. 
  • The Au-pair must have their own furnished, lockable and heated room of at least 8 square meters. 
  • The colloquial language in the family should be German. 
  • At least one parent must have German citizenship. 
  • The family covers the costs of accommodation, food, pocket money and insurance as well as a subsidy for the language course. 
  • The host parents enable participation in the language course and other courses and leisure activities offered by the pme Familienservice. 
  • The Au-pair is entitled to 4 weeks paid vacation (or 2 days per month pro rata) for a 12-month stay.

How much does it cost to host an Au-pair in Germany?

If a family takes in an Au-pair in Germany, the cost of living increases accordingly. This is because there is another adult living in the household.   

The costs that families should consider when taking in an Au-pair are made up of various items: 

  • Pocket money: at least 280 euros per month 
  • Accident, health and liability insurance: around 50 euros per month 
  • German course: approx. 70 euros per month 
  • Costs for board and lodging, including during the au pair's free time or illness: around 250 to 300 euros per month 

How long can an Au-pair stay in Germany? 

An Au-pair can stay in Germany for a minimum of 4 months and a maximum of 12 months . The length of stay is agreed individually and can be adjusted according to the needs and possibilities of the family and the au pair. 

How do I find an Au-pair? 

At pme Familienservice , we place au pairs with selected families throughout Germany and support both au pairs and host families throughout their stay. We attach great importance to careful selection and continuous support from our experienced local staff. 

In addition to pme Familienservice as an Au-pair in Germany, there are also other platforms that place au pairs. 

"Many families find their Au-pair independently and then come to us for further support. We offer consultations in advance and explain what to look out for when Au-pair on your own. It is important to know that au pairs must be between 18 and 26 years old. While some platforms don't always check the age exactly, we make sure that all requirements are met." - Michelle Mihm

pme Familienservice is the leading Au-pair

pme Familienservice is one of the leading Au-pair in Germany and is an official member of the international Au-pair IAPA and the German Au-Pair. The pme Familienservice Familienservice are also certified by the Gütegemeinschaft Au-pair e.V. with the RAL quality mark. 

Challenges that families and au pairs may face

Hosting an au pair in Germany enriches everyday family life with new perspectives and cultural experiences. But it also brings challenges. 

Many au pairs who come to Germany often experience a culture shock, and language barriers can make the start a little bumpy. This phase requires a lot of patience, understanding and loving support. For the families, this means investing time in intensive training and good organization.  

This intensive initial period pays off, as the Au-pair gradually becomes a great relief and enriches everyday family life with new perspectives and experiences. 

The pme Familienservice is there to support families and au pairs throughout their stay, e.g. with tips against homesickness, assistance with language problems and help with health issues.

We look after au pairs during their entire stay! 

Our au pairs are well looked after during their stay. We offer WhatsApp groups, a Facebook group, regular meetings and a 24-hour emergency hotline just for au pairs. This means they are well connected and supported at all times. 

All information for au pairs in Germany. 

How long does it take to get an Au-pair in Germany? 

The time it takes for an au pair to arrive in Germany can vary greatly. The appointment for the visa at the embassy depends on the country of origin and can range from 8 weeks to 8 to 10 months. There are often au pairs who already have an appointment so that the decision can be made within 2 to 4 weeks. Overall, the process can take between 2 and 10 months, depending on the country of origin and the political situation.

Is the process also supported with your own au pairs? 

Yes, we also support families exclusively with the visa process. Here, too, we conduct preliminary consultations with the families who would like to look for an Au-pair on their own and then support them in the further process.

Which countries do the au pairs come from? 

Our au pairs currently come mainly from India, Madagascar, Indonesia, South America and Armenia. Countries such as Australia, America or New Zealand are hardly represented, as no visa is required for au pairs there.

Au-pair with pme Familienservice

pme Familienservice is your strong partner for safe and qualified Au-pair in Germany. With over 30 years of experience in Au-pair, pme Familienservice offers families and au pairs comprehensive information, qualified advice and reliable support throughout their stay. 

Placement is free of charge for au pairs.

zero Helicopter parents: the effects of overprotective parenting

A girl hangs upside down from a tree
Parent & Child
23.07.2025 Ifenna Ekezie 2199

Helicopter parents: What are the consequences of overprotection?

The anxious mother who takes her child everywhere by car and picks him up again, the controlling father who keeps a close eye on school performance and never shies away from a teacher's talk ...  

While many parents want to support their children in order to pave the way for them, they often fall into the role of "helicopter parents". However, this overprotective attitude, which usually results from their own worries and fears, impairs the development of children's independence. 

A contribution by Ramona Krämer. As a specialist consultant and systemic family therapist, she advises and supports parents in parenting issues. 

"The parents' job is to support their child only until the child can take over on their own - not to do everything for the child or to remove the challenges out of the way." - Ramona Krämer

Content of this article

What are "helicopter parents"?  

"Helicopter parents" are parents who are constantly close to their children and circle around them like a helicopter so that they can intervene at any time if they think their child needs support or protection. 

The parenting style of helicopter parents is characterized by

  • Over-involvement
  • Restriction of the child's autonomy 
  • Overprotection 
  • Assigning blame to third parties, e.g. when educators are held responsible if their own child has conflicts in the childcare center .

What is the difference between helicopter parents and lawnmower parents? 

In contrast to helicopter parents, lawnmower parents try to clear any potential challenge or difficulty out of the way at an early stage - preferably in advance. They "mow down" all obstacles before the child encounters them. 

Both parenting styles are characterized by a strong overprotectiveness, but with a different approach: helicopter parents are more reactive, while lawnmower parents plan and act more in advance.

What is behind it when parents are overprotective?  

The overprotectiveness of helicopter parents often stems from their own fears.

There are usually reasons for the parents' overprotective behavior that lie in their past and are linked to experiences - before, during or after pregnancy: for example, a long fertility treatment, complications during pregnancy or birth, premature births, as well as postpartum depression or their own upbringing that they grew up with. 

At the same time, the world is becoming more and more complex, and through media coverage we learn of many disasters around us and in the world, giving us the feeling that the world is more dangerous and unsafe for our children. 

The desire for control often stems from the need to do something about one's own powerlessness and helplessness.
 

We overestimate the probability of events! 

In psychology, this is known as the availability heuristic: an abbreviated, cognitive conclusion in which the probability of events is assessed according to their topicality and vividness in memory. 

This means that tragic news becomes engrained, leading to a heightened sense of risk and thus to misjudgments and errors in judgment. This often results in increased protective measures 

What impact do helicopter parents have on their children?  

The overprotective parenting style leads to children becominganxious and developing phobias or fears themselves.

Before children can gather their own experiences, they rely on the experiences of their caregivers. This type of transfer of experience is very long-lasting, unlike other forms of learning that quickly fade if they are not repeated.

Phobias and fears, such as fear of spiders or the dentist or fear of loss, are transferred from the primary caregiver to their children. This happens on a non-verbal level, through facial expressions, gestures and smell. 

What helps? Name and disclose your own fear!
 

Do the reality check!

Exchange ideas with other parents or your partner: 

- Are there real dangers or is it a perceived insecurity? 

- What can children of this age be expected to do? 

- How do you handle this? 

- Do you have similar fears?

 

BUT the parental role model is not the only factor that determines whether a child develops anxiety. Genetic, biological and socio-cultural influences also play a role here. 

Example 1: An anxious mother limits her adventurous son's freedom of movement, which leads to frequent conflicts. Although the mother's anxiety is often noticeable, it is probably not transferred directly to the son. 

Example 2: A rather cautious child is severely restricted in its independence by its parents. It is less and less confident in mastering challenges on its own and does not learn to develop the ability to act. 

How do children of helicopter parents behave? 

The overprotectiveness of helicopter parents has a strong influence on their children's development . This can be seen in their motor skills, risk assessment and frustration tolerance.

The influence on children's motor development and risk assessment

In its "More safety through movement" series of publications, Unfallkasse Hessen states that children who are allowed to move freely have fewer accidents . Children need free movement and the space to experience things for themselves.

They need challenges, borderline experiences and experiences of failure in order to learn to assess risks correctly and develop self-confidence.

The influence on children's resilience and frustration tolerance 

Overprotected children who experience hardly any negative emotions, consequences and frustration while growing up develop less self-efficacy and suffer more frequently from anxiety disorders, according to studies by Stanford University (2021) and Florida Atlantic University (2023).  

This makes it all the more important that children learn to deal with frustration, injustice, conflicts and even accidents at an early age and in an age-appropriate manner. 

How can we make our children strong? 

Parents - and helicopter parents in particular - must learn to endure their own fears and worries.  

Instead of restricting your own child with well-intentioned overprotection, children need to be supported in their independence. In this way, they can develop crisis skills and learn to assert themselves independently.  

This is also confirmed by the Florida Atlantic University study (2023), which shows that children and young people who spend a lot of time playing freely and riskily and are used to solving problems without parental guidance are mentally happier .

It is therefore important that parents promote their child's self-efficacy and resilience and give them the freedom they need.

5 tips on how to find a healthy level of care

1. see care as support for the independent development of your child. The long-term goal of parents should be to make themselves dispensable. After all, we want our children to be able to manage their own lives when they move out. 

2 Only help your child if he or she asks for it.  

3. ask your child questions instead of giving direct answers and thus anticipating a solution. 

4. do not relieve your child of challenges, but support them in finding a solution themselves. 

5. only provide support until the point is reached where your child can take over on their own. 

The pme parent counseling service

Our parent counselors support parents in all matters from pregnancy to the child's adulthood.  

Personal and confidential: We are there for you online, by phone and on site. You can find more information on the pme parent counseling page.   

Portrait Michelle Mihm

Michelle Mihm

Product manager Au-Pair & specialist consultant for care in private households

Michelle Mihm is responsible for Au-pair and care in private households. She advises families competently in the event of childcare shortages and emergencies and enables a suitable caregiver to be found quickly. As a former daycare center manager and mother of two small children, she knows the challenges of families with children aged 0 to 6 years.
 

Contact:

michelle.mihm@familienservice.de