Talking to the dead: Digitally immortal through AI
Drinking digital coffee with your deceased friend or having your dead grandpa read you bedtime stories: If you die today, you don't have to be dead yet. The "digital afterlife industry" promises eternal life in the form of digital avatars. But can we still say goodbye if the connection to the deceased is not broken? Is artificial intelligence changing the way we grieve?
"Hey, how are you today? Did you have a good start to the day, honey?" Imagine your cell phone ringing and your deceased mother's chatbot writing you messages, even calling you from time to time, giving you advice when you're not feeling well.
What sounds like science fiction has long since become reality. Continuing to talk to loved ones after death: The "digital life industry" makes it possible. Start-ups promise digital immortality by offering to clone the personality of people in the form of chatbots and avatars. All you have to do is feed an artificial intelligence (AI) with everything that reflects the personality and is available in the form of data: Messages, photos, videos, voice messages, music, movement profiles, calendar entries.
Mother meets deceased daughter again
Viewers were able to see just how far technology has come in a Korean TV show. In February 2020, 1.8 million people watched a video on YouTube of a South Korean mother who used AI to reunite with her deceased daughter in virtual reality. "Mom, where have you been? Have you been thinking about me?" With these words, the avatar of seven-year-old daughter Nayeon runs towards her mother in the virtual world. Later, the avatar says goodbye and symbolically dies once again.
Digital afterlife industry booming
Avatars like the one from Nayeon are complex programmed doppelgangers. For eight months, VR experts from the company Vive Studios from Seoul worked on the digital Nayeon for eight months. They used photos, video and sound recordings to imitate the girl's body, movements and personality as accurately as possible.
Far less elaborate avatars already exist on the free market. A whole "digital afterlife industry" has now emerged - also known as "grief tech" . The market is growing. Start-ups are springing up like mushrooms, promising to create authentic digital likenesses of people.
"We Never Have to Say Goodbye to those we love": these are the words with which the US start-up YOV (You, Only Virtual) welcomes visitors to its website. The company promises to create 3D versions of loved ones - so real that interactions with the avatar should feel genuine and remain true to the original relationship. The more data, the better the AI should be able to imitate people. But there are also simpler versions of chatbots that you can just write and talk to. With the app Here after app from the USA, all you have to do, according to the company, is answer a few questions and upload audio files to imitate the voice and spelling of the deceased - and the personalized chatbot is ready.
Users can create an interactive avatar on the video platform StoryFile create. (Photo source: StoryFile)
Digital clones instead of souls in the afterlife
Especially in the USA, Asia and the UK, the number of people who plan their virtual "self" before they die is growing. In their documentary "Eternal You - Vom Ende der Endlichkeit" (2024), filmmakers Moritz Riesewieck and Hans Block explain the phenomenon by pointing out that fewer and fewer people in Western Europe believe in God and eternal life in the afterlife. In their documentary, they follow the pioneers and first users of a technology that aims to cheat death using digital avatars.
"It has not yet been possible to compensate for the loss of meaning that billions of people have experienced as a result of turning away from religion. There is a huge gap, which has not escaped the attention of technology companies, who see the void as an opportunity for the next big business idea."1
Moritz Riesewieck, Hans Block, filmmakers and authors ("Die digitale Seele")
Since the beginning of time, mankind has dreamed of escaping death. We try to run away from it by having Botox or fillers injected to conceal the ravages of time; or we optimize our lifestyle through sport, healthy eating, plenty of sleep and vitamin pills. The best-known example is probably billionaire Bryan Johnson, who takes over 100 pills a day, follows a diet and does everything he can to reduce his biological age. He meticulously logs the results on his website, which bears the headline: Don't Die.
With a digital copy, each and every one of us could avoid the threat of finiteness, without any sport or pills. We no longer have to die, but can be resurrected in another world, in another form: this is the promise of the grief tech companies. But what does this mean for the bereaved if we can get in touch with the avatars of loved ones anytime, anywhere? Will this change the way we grieve?
AI helpful in coping with grief?
After her encounter with the virtual Nayeon, the Korean mother said that the experience had helped her in her grieving process. As Nayeon died very suddenly from a rare hereditary disease, the experiment had made it possible for her to say goodbye to her daughter. However, it could actually be useful to use such AI applications in a therapeutic way, says philosopher Martin Booms from Alanus University.
"We just have to be a little careful not to believe that we can now get rid of the things that are part of life, such as saying goodbye and mourning, through digital technologies. "2
Martin Booms, philosopher, Alanus University
Finding closure, having a final conversation and perhaps clarifying something that could not be discussed during their lifetime: This is what mourners hope to achieve with digital copies of the deceased. So do the protagonists of the documentary "Eternal You". But very few of them were able to find real peace, explains film director Moritz Riesewieck "3. In the documentary, a user chats with the avatar of her deceased friend using the Here after app. The experiment turns out differently than expected. The avatar writes that he is in hell and feels very alone. These are not very reassuring words that are unlikely to support the user's grieving process. Anyone using the apps so far is doing so at their own risk. The developers accept no responsibility for negative experiences.
False memories through avatars
To date, there has hardly been any systematic engagement or research perspective on the question of what consequences this technology could have. Researchers, psychologists and church representatives are only gradually getting to grips with the topic and its potential opportunities and risks. Eldercare expert Jürgen Griesbeck is no exception. Through his work as a trainer for senior caregivers and coach, he deals with people who are grieving on an almost daily basis. He is critical of the digital afterlife industry "Death is the greatest restriction that people can experience. The fact that I know I only have so and so many years left forces me to think about: How do I manage my time? How do I spend my time with the people who are important to me? If I know I can simply get a loved one back via an AI, why should I accept that it's over now and I can't go on?". Finiteness is not meant to be here.
According to Griesbeck, there is also the danger that memories of the deceased person can be distorted. "When grieving, you try to keep the deceased person in your mind with memories of what was special about the person. This is how I keep alive what I associate with the deceased person."
"But the avatar media product only has a selected set of memories. This carries the risk of my real memories being overwritten because the avatar is constantly telling me the same thing and has a high suggestive power."
Jürgen Griesbeck, eldercare expert, pme Familienservice
In addition, psychologists warn that the bereaved could remain trapped in a kind of permanent loop by repeatedly seeking contact with the avatars. It should therefore be clear that this experience is unique so that the grieving process can be completed and users do not lose themselves in an endless communication loop with the "dead".
However, the apps all have something in common: they are not designed for a one-off experience with the AI avatar. Finitude is not meant to be here. Especially in times when mourning for the deceased is still very strong, psychologists see a danger in this: that it is difficult to acknowledge that a loved one is no longer alive. The connection to reality could become increasingly blurred.
Avatars in the repertoire of grief work
Concerns or not: in future, we will come into contact with avatars and chatbots more and more often in different areas of our lives. Perhaps many of us will have our own avatar in the next five years. Not necessarily an avatar that is a replica of our own person. But a kind of sparring partner that reminds us of appointments or to take our vitamin tablets, for example. It seems only a matter of time before avatars are also offered in the repertoire of grief work.
"Just as we go to the grave and talk to the deceased, talk to the gravestone, perhaps in the future we will talk to an avatar that will even respond with the deceased person's own voice. Everyone has to decide that for themselves."4
Prof. Jessica Heesen, Head of Media Ethics, Philosophy of Technology and AI, University of Tübingen
Presumably, an avatar image of yourself or a deceased person will not be for everyone. Some will use the possibilities of AI, others will not. Nevertheless, each and every one of us should ask ourselves a few questions: Do I want my relatives to have an avatar created of me when I am dead? If not, should I include this in my will? If I do, who is authorized to make decisions about my avatar? Who has sovereignty over my data? And what happens if avatars are offered on a subscription basis and threaten us with "dying" a second time if we don't pay the fees?
And perhaps the most important question is: How do I want people to remember me when I am gone?
Sources:
[1] Moritz Riesewieck, Hans Block: The digital soul. Becoming immortal in the age of artificial intelligence. Munich 2020, page 13.
[2] https://www1.wdr.de/nachrichten/ki-avatare-tote-eternal-you-100.html
[4] https://www.tagesschau.de/wissen/technologie/digital-afterlife-100.html
