10.06.2024 Ifenna Ekezie 16777

5 tips on how to make a vacation together a success

A vacation with friends, family or your partner is finally just around the corner - and you want it to be perfect. But arguments on vacation are not uncommon. Tips from therapist Dagmar Cassiers on how to enjoy a stress-free vacation together and what to look out for when planning your vacation.

Vacations are the time that many people look forward to all year round. Expectations are huge - just like at Christmas. Everything should be perfect, everyone should be happy and the problems of everyday life should suddenly disappear. Especially when it's THE long-awaited annual vacation. But the "most wonderful time of the year" has already put one or two relationships and friendships to the test or even ended them.

In most cases, the cause of an argument is not expensive food, the wrong accommodation or bad weather. Rather, it is different expectations and a lack of agreements that cause arguments.

1. check realistic expectations

Expecting a perfect vacation together can quickly lead to disappointment. Because hand on heart: it's a nice wishful thinking that everything will run like clockwork on vacation and that everyone will be happy and in a good mood at all times. We are all too happy to be blinded by this idea. Especially when it's the dream vacation we've been saving up for and planning in detail.

As in everyday life, storm clouds can quickly gather on vacation and dampen your mood. This is completely normal and doesn't immediately ruin the vacation. It's much more about how we deal with it - and it all starts with our expectations. 

Tip: Lower your expectations

Don't expect too much from your vacation together. Just embark on the vacation adventure - with everything that may come. Anticipation is the greatest joy!

2. discuss ideas

The stress can start as early as the vacation planning stage when different ideas and needs clash: beach or mountains? Adventure or relaxation? Fly or train? Hotel or camping?

It is therefore particularly important to talk in advance about how everyone wants to spend their time together. When parents go on vacation with their children, it is essential that the children's needs are also taken into account.

You can ask yourself the following questions for orientation and discuss them together:

 3. plan communication rituals

Even on vacation, it is important to consciously take time for each other as a couple and talk to each other. For example, about how everyone is doing, what they have enjoyed so far, what they are still looking forward to and what is on their minds. Scheduling a "jour fixe" for the conversation can help.

Tip: Time for two without children

Many vacation resorts or locations offer childcare. This is a good opportunity for parents to spend a few hours together undisturbed. At the same time, they know their children are in good hands. Take advantage of these offers!

4. face conflicts on vacation with composure

Conflicts naturally also occur on vacation. The important thing is to remain calm and deal with problems constructively. Instead of throwing accusations around, try to communicate your feelings and needs openly. 

One helpful method is "non-violent communication" according to Rosenberg:

5. see a shared vacation as a relationship test

A vacation together can also be used as a test for the relationship. At the beginning of a relationship, it can help a couple to determine how well they understand each other, what they have in common, what makes them different and how they deal with these differences. Here, too, it is important to clarify expectations right at the beginning, talk about (vacation) needs together and be flexible.

Tip: A short vacation to get to know each other

Short vacations or weekend trips together are a good way to get to know each other better and at the same time slowly get used to spending more time together.